Friday, June 17, 2011

Drinking, driving and making whoopee all at the same time, and all IN THE BACK SEAT.

First off, not making Whoopee Goldberg. Making whoopee as in "doing the wild thing" or "making the beast with two backs" or--


Lawsuit claims drunken sex in backseat of car while driving 85mph

Three behaviors that could be classified as risky all on their own, but holy moly. . . to combine them? Let's look at them:

1. Speeding. This behavior gave us ugly cops with questionable radar guns and a whole new sleaze industry: The Traffic Lawyer.

2. Drinking. You know that old saying about how "Girls get prettier at closing time" goes, don't you. I wonder if this is why the guy in the story was speeding, although supposedly he had the girl WITH him, and in the backseat allegedly doing the activity for which In & Out Burgers was named. And that brings us to--

3. Having sex in the backseat of a car. And this is how the whole chiropractor thing got started. Even back in the days when folks were fleeing the east and heading west in covered wagons, they tried making whoopee in the back of that thing. Probably why so many of the early settlers walked funny and were always holding their backs.

But what I wanna know is this: How the hell did this guy do his drinking, his lovemaking AND his driving all at the same time from the backseat--and while doing 85mph?

Talk about your potential for a reality show. . .