Australians and Texans have a lot in common.
• Don't mess with us
• We're a destination, not a detour
• Even though a Texan and an Australian may have never met, put the two of us in a bad situation and reflexively, we'll have each others' back.
We were both pretty much kicked out of civilized society (England for the Aussies, just about anywhere east of the Mississippi for Texans) and found our way into barren wasteland.
But what we found in Australia and Texas were beautiful shorelines, rugged country, fertile land and an entire new way of looking at life and how to live it. We have rugged men and beautiful women as seen by these two lovely Australian ladies and the girls from my old college alma mater, Texas Tech University.
Because of how our respective lands came to be settled, there is a huge and fiercely independent streak in both Aussies and Texans. In Texas, we reserve the right to secede. Yankees and dumbass journalists dispute this, but all I'll say is: "Don't trifle with us on this one."
Down under, Australia doesn't need to secede--they just need to kick out the remaining remnants of British royalty and liberalism from their land. We have our own version of that crap here in Texas--we call it "Austin." We'd do good to flush it back to Boston or Philadelphia or Berkely or wherever the hell it came from.
Why? Because those are liberal bastions and what places such as that produce are more liberals who eventually produce criminals. And criminals like to rob places.
These criminals made the bad mistake of trying to rob a bar in Sidney, and 50 bikers came rushing in, caught the robbers, beat the hell out of them, then held them for the police.
God Bless Australians.
But as much as me and some friends enjoyed this video about Australians, an Aussie pal of ours--he refers to us as his mates--reminded us of this video, which is one of his favorites. He tells us he especially enjoys the scenery.
I assured him that we enjoy the scenery, too.
My wife is anxious to visit Australia and New Zealand, and we already have some friends, er, mates, lined up to tour guide for us. We also have a couple who are planning to visit Texas next year and we'll reciprocate the favor.
What's not to love? No language barrier, we both have great beers, we're independent as hell, don't mess with us, and our women are one of our greatest natural resources. Even our cookouts are pretty similar--they call it the barbie, we call it BBQ. And let me tell you: the Aussies have some pretty dang good BBQ rubs and spices.
Only thing I'm not crazy about as far as Australia goes is their gun laws, but I figure if enough Texans migrated there, we'd fix that in a hurry. We'd also bring some good beef along with us, and our women, of course.
Why, it would be Heaven Down Under.