Sunday, August 25, 2019

Sparing no snowflakes, not even one.

Being a Baby Boomer is nice. You're old enough to have seen much, done a lot and not give a damn what anyone thinks.

I especially enjoy the occasional article I stumble across in which millennials are laughing about "Baby Boomer makes $170K a year but doesn't know how to attach a pdf file."

That's right, junior. We hire snot-nose basement-dwelling video-playing Cheetohs-munching "studies" major to do that for us, then sit around and laugh when you demand a "livable wage" for attaching some electronic bytes to more electronic bytes so we can send it out to someone.

We do have the idiots among us, like those who have gone into debt paying for their snowflake kids' and grandkids' college education in Fourteenth Century Romance Restroom Choice Studies. And we do have the random sampling of Baby Boomers who still think Jimmy Carter was a good president.

Someone has to bring up the caboose on the Accomplishment Train, I suppose. Which brings me to the subject of this column. The following Politically Incorrect Thoughts and Musings were sent to me the other day, and I find them hard to disagree with.


  1.  Dogs are not babies. Stop pushing them around in baby strollers. Especially, in the grocery store. It's a public, health, hazard, and just weird.
  2. Eight year olds aren't old enough to permanently choose their “gender” and go through an actual sex change. I don't care what they say. I thought I was a cat when I was eight. I would literally purr, and scratch people. I am SUUUPER happy my parents didn't jump on that band wagon!
  3. Being fat is worse than smoking cigarettes. They are both bad, but since when do fat people get to be the moral authority on smoking?
  4. Jokes about other people are funny. Period. I don't care who is offended. Just let comedians do their job!
  5. Democratic Socialists of America are nothing like the Nordic model. (Maybe they were once?) I don't remember anything in the Nordic model talking about “aggressive scents,” or refusing to clap their hands because it triggers their anxiety?
  6. The “Green New Deal” is just Hilarious! Seriously, reading it makes me laugh out loud.
  7. Grammar in education matters. I don't care how racist you call it. Words aren't racist. Just the people who use them to be racist.
  8. Dodgeball in schools, needs to be a thing again. Kids need to get pent up energy out. And I don't know of one child who has died by dodgeball yet?
  9. Guns are here forever. If you are worried about someone attacking you? Then, go buy a gun.
  10. Basic school supplies shouldn't be communal. Why the hell do I have to provide school supplies for my kids and your kids, just because you failed to provide your own?
  11. Kids should invite whoever they actually, want to come to their birthday party. It doesn't mean they have to do it publicly, to humiliate people. But has anyone ever thought about how horrible it is for a kid to go to a party, only to find out that no one actually wanted them there? It happened to me in third grade. I would have gladly stayed home.
  12. Freedom of speech is for EVERYONE! Not just for people who decide what is or isn't offensive to their ears.
  13. Toddlers shouldn't be using phones and tablets. YOU ARE RUINING THEIR VISION. It literally effects the muscle functioning for seeing up close. Get them some coloring books and toys. They're toddlers.
  14. Nobody should be allowed to vote at age 16. Not unless you are going to change drinking, smoking, entering the military, and moving out of my house, to 16 as well? If 16, is old enough to do those things? Then, I’m all in.
  15. Stop blaming the patriarchy for women in the workforce. Most women don't like to do heavy labor, and construction. So what is your plan here? To Force more women to work jobs they don't actually want?
  16. Not everyone who cries rape, was actually raped. I am not saying that you shouldn't take the claim seriously, and address the issue. But why in God's name are they automatically, a victim, without question, or proper investigation? And why aren't they punished for false claims that ruin a person's life?
  17. Third wave feminists are just stupid. Do women even realize that they are just putting themselves out of work? Plus, most women like men better. They hold doors for them, lift heavy objects for them, and don't judge their parenting skills all day.
  18. Abortion on demand will never be okay with me. Stop arguing with me about how I shouldn't care about an unborn baby because it isn't a human. When you can prove to me without a doubt that it isn't a human, then we will talk. Until then, it's just as valid for me to assume that it might be?
  19. Stating someone's skin color is not racist. If there are twenty people in a room and only one is black? Then, why in the heck would I spend six hours trying to describe, other characteristics he has, so you actually know who I am talking about? Imagine police blotters…. So we have non-gender specific, 6 foot tall, person, with one of the main, racial, colorings. If you have seen this non-gender specific person, who matches this description? Give us a call. So stupid!
  20. Eliminating pronouns is unnecessary confusion. (See police blotter in #19)
  21. Saying you know everything, doesn't actually mean that you do.
  22. Everybody shouldn't get a trophy. It's not about humiliating children. It's about reality. How many jobs do you think are awarded to people because the CEO didn't want you to feel bad because Jimmy was better?
  23. Everyone doesn't have to like you. Sometimes I can't stand people, for absolutely, no reason, at all. Do you see the part where I said for “no reason at all?” That means no amount of reasoning will make me like you. So move on.
  24. People need to get dressed when leaving the house. I don't care what you tell yourself. Wearing pajamas or yoga pants everywhere you go, is not proper, adult behavior. Unless you are old, injured, or sick. (Which brings me to my next point)
  25. Stop ONLY wearing yoga pants. Why is everyone who clearly, doesn't exercise, so obsessed with wearing exercise clothes, in everyday life. Just because the world doesn't set actual standards, doesn't mean that you shouldn't set them for yourself.
  26. Little girls need longer shorts. In a day in age, of constant, complaining from women about objectification and sexual harassment by men…. Why would you let your 12 year old daughters, ass cheeks, be fully exposed, in a pair of shorts? She doesn't need to be covered to her ankles, but come on. Why bother wear shorts at all?
  27. Everyone is NOT a racist. Just because you “say so.”
  28. Donald Trump's skin is way too orange. Unless he plans on marketing his specific orange color, to tanning salons? Then, he just needs to stop it! (Remember when the Kardashians sold the “Kardashian Glow” at tanning salons?)
  29. Israel can keep anyone out of its own country, if they want to. Regardless, if someone else told them, “you shouldn't play with those two, girls. They are icky.”
  30. Five years olds shouldn't be allowed on a crotch rocket, on the Thruway. Take them on a road with less traffic. If I can get a ticket for letting my twelve year old, ride in the front seat, of my car? Then, why the hell is that deemed safer?
  31. Illegal immigrants shouldn't get free healthcare. No one should get free healthcare before the countries own citizens. Period.
  32. Hipsters aren't hip. Unless, you are doing the look the right way? You just look like an unkempt, homeless man.
  33. Women who shave parts of their head are usually unbalanced. I swear it's true. Every time a women goes through a crisis, or conversion is when she starts shaving parts of her head. Stop assaulting your hair.
  34. I didn't vote for Hilary Clinton. And no matter what Hilary tries to brainwash you with…it was because I DIDN'T LIKE HER.
  35. Presidential candidates are not automatically, great at creating and implementing policies because they are a different color, or gender.
  36. Student loan debt is yours. So deal with it. Two things here. 1) don't sign a loan agreement if you don't want to pay it back 2) try not going to school for 8 years just to get an Associate's Degree. PICK A MAJOR and GET OUT! You aren't “Vanwilder.”
  37. I don't care how celebrities feel about politics. Really? I just want you to dance monkey, dance, and entertain me. That's what I pay you for. Movies are what I do to get away from politics.
  38. Talking refrigerators are stupid. Just walk your lazy, ass over to the refrigerator and open it. It's only five feet away, when you are talking to it.
  39. Feminine hygiene commercials need to lay off. This just makes women seem as if they are constantly plagued by both oozing, and dryness, mixed together with yeast infections.  Is this as serious as they are making it seem?   If it's that bad, then they need a doctor.
  40. That goes ditto for male, sexual functioning. There was EDD and now they just keep inventing new dysfunctions. Apparently, there is an epidemic of male problems involving, curved penises, due to sexual injury? Yeah, I don't think it's that prevalent. Plus, these commercials make things awkward with my kids. When boys are just hitting puberty, and your stupid commercial is making him think his penis will eventually become deformed. Stop freaking out the children!
  41. Men and women are not equal. In many ways yes. But there are some directly, obvious, differences in physiology, and biology. Embrace the differences.
  42. Living in your parents basement, is not the time to start a family. Use birth control. Lots of it.
  43. No one is entitled to higher wages, “just because.” Entry level jobs were never meant to be the final stage in career, for you.
  44. We have a serious and dangerous addiction in this country: the steadily increasing addiction to smart phones.  This is especially true with millenials, although it is rampant among all ages and genders.
  45. If you have to ask your physician “if this medication is right for you?” Then, you need a better physician. Since, when did everyone start telling doctors what drugs to prescribe them? Isn't that why doctors go to school for almost a decade? So, they can tell you.
  46. And lastly….AOC might be the most unimpressive person that I have ever seen, as an acting member of Congress. The glass of water, with the letter “D,” that Pelosi mentioned, would have been more impressive.

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