Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Die, you SOBs. . . DIE!!!

Not a good day yesterday in the land of An Ordinary American.

For starters, it topped 100 degrees again, no breeze, too much humidity.

Felt like I was in Houston. Had to check my GPS to make sure I wasn't.

I'm outside doing some yard work in the heat of the day, and in the midst of taking the brushwhacker to my shrubs at the front of the house, I get attacked by a swarm of (expletive deleted) yellow jackets.

Luckily, I'm not allergic to being bit or stung by these SOBs. The primary adverse reaction I have is swearing at the top of my lungs when bitten by one of these flying menaces.

Given the size of the swarm today, I set new records for volume, duration and creative use of unbefore-heard-of swear words. I think I dropped more f-bombs in just a few seconds than Jimmy Doolittle did during his entire mission over Tokyo.

Then I got mad. Killing mad.

When dealing with yellow jackets and wasps and other useless menaces, Tom Hite is my hero. I didn't do it exactly how he does it in this video, but I ain't through battling these SOBs either.

I managed to get a bunch of ice packs on the affected areas (read: where the little crappers bit and stung me) to keep the initial swelling down, then put some numbing agent on the areas, and finished up with some prescription-strength hydrocortisone.

Finished the yard work, washed the Doberman, changed the oil and filter on my wife's car, went inside and took a refreshing shower and when I sat down in my easy chair . . . the damn electricity went out.

4:30 p.m. northern suburbs of Dallas, Texas on a triple-digit day and the freaking power goes out. Stayed out over four hours.

I heard later in the evening, when the power came back on and I was watching the news, that some utility worker got stung by a yellow-jacket. When he drew his Model 29 with #14 shot (specially cast for wasps, hornets, yellow jackets and horseflies here in Texas), he ended up shooting the transmitter.

Damn yellow jackets.

P.S. I hope the Georgia Bulldogs pound the living snot out of Georgia Tech this year and every year going forward.


Old NFO said...

One of THOSE days, eh??? Glad there were no allergies involved!

Anonymous said...

Having lived in N. Dallas for past 25 years{orginally from way down south where the President has 4 wives}I congratulate you on being out doing your yard work. {gardening}. Enjoy your posts and all the hard work that you do.Keep up the good work

Everett said...

If you have enough fingers and you can reach all the sting sites, hold a copper penny on each one for about 10 mins. or so and the sting will be gone. Works for this old Yankee! Usually starts right in within a min or so.

kx59 said...

White vinegar.
soak paper towel and apply to sting site.
Works for fire ant stings as well.
The acid counteracts the venom.
Now that you mention it, I'm reminded I have a yellow jacket nest in the works on the back fence.
ps. The humidity in Houston keeps us looking young and pretty.

Fill Yer Hands said...

To Hell With Georgia. I'm just sayin.