The new, deadly tools of terrorists.

Guitars.

But just Gibson guitars. You know, Les Pauls, SGs, 335s, maybe the occasional double-deadly ES-1275 doubleneck made famous by Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin.

I wouldn't doubt that a few acoustics and mandolins are problem poised to terrorize America. Banjos for certain.

This is a problem. A very real one. I have Gibson guitars. Les Pauls, an old bird, an SG somewhere. Even worse, my sordid past includes admitted ownership of yet more Les Pauls, SGs, Flying V's, an Explorer and once even the dreaded double-deadly EDS-1275.

When will Obama's heavily-armed environmental goon squad come kicking my door down?

By now we already know of the infamous raid on Gibson's guitar factory by heavily armed, ethics-challenged federal agents. Did you know there was a second raid not long after?

Senator Rand Paul held a hearing with Gibson's CEO. Check it out, then decide if you need to ditch your contraband Gibson guitars or perhaps raise nine kinds of bloody hell with your elected idiots to disband the goon squads.

The Gibson CEO is rumored to have given money, consistently, to conservative politicians. Taylor Guitars and CF Martin gave quite a bit of money to the Obama hope & change campaign. The allegedly illegal wood the goons were looking for all came from the same place, same distributors, same exporters, same importers. Some of it went to Gibson, some of it went to Taylor, some of it went to CF Martin.

Only Gibson was raided.

Chicago thuggery. Plain and simple.

I used to have a Martin guitar. Used to. An old D-28. Sold it after the Gibson raid. I tried selling it to an Obama supporter, but I couldn't find one with a good enough job that could afford it.

So I took it to a guitar store and traded it. For a Gibson.

I expect my doors to be kicked in any day now. Welcome to America Under Obama.