Three very good reasons to quit drinking real beer.

Sacrilege? Quite possibly.

But if you ever find yourself in any of these situations, time to reconsider your barley and hops intake.

She loves my Johnson

I could probably try to explain this, or maybe even write a disclaimer, but nah. . .

Just enjoy.

She did. (*wink*)

Walmart. The jungle of urban America.

More often than not, the human race disgusts me--especially in the cities. This little pictorial essay is yet another perfect illustration as to why.

Bear in mind that this is the same Walmart company that fired three security guards at one of their Utah stores who successfully subdued a shoplifter that held a gun to their heads.

Sam Walton has to be spinning.

In LA, a jungle-inhabitant uses pepper spray to run off competitive shoppers so she can have a better shot at some electronics junk. In Fayetville (NC), gunfire breaks out.

THIS is the way we begin our celebrations of the birth of a Savior of the Christian faith?

My small-town country roots are tugging at me harder than ever.

A welfare mentality since the days of Truman

I think this pretty much says it all. Click it on for a slightly larger version and to see how the Democrat's were ruining us even over sixty years ago.

An F'd up federal fish story.

How much more are we going to take?

A Massachusetts fisherman catches the mother lode of all tuna--891 pounds--only to have it seized by the feds because he didn't catch it right.

The giant tuna became inadvertently snared in a net. Our "we're here to help you" government geniuses told the fisherman, Carlos Rafael, that tuna had to be caught by rod and reel.

Really?

So all those "Sorry Charlie" tunas that are packaged and consumed in various little round cans all over the country were all caught on rod and reel?

I don't believe that.

What I do believe, though, is that this fish Mr. Rafael caught is worth almost $400,000 and that probably explains the feds' sudden "interest" in this big fish.

And why they seized it and will sell it and keep the money.

Just how much more blatant highway robbery are we going to tolerate from this miserable asshat existence of a government?

November 2012. Send the Chicago thugs home packing, disinfect the White House--oh, and while we're at it, let's clean house in Congress as well. Send exactly one-third of incumbent Senators home, and send every stinking incumbent Representative home.

Then disinfect the whole (expletive deleted) town.

The new, deadly tools of terrorists.

Guitars.

But just Gibson guitars. You know, Les Pauls, SGs, 335s, maybe the occasional double-deadly ES-1275 doubleneck made famous by Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin.

I wouldn't doubt that a few acoustics and mandolins are problem poised to terrorize America. Banjos for certain.

This is a problem. A very real one. I have Gibson guitars. Les Pauls, an old bird, an SG somewhere. Even worse, my sordid past includes admitted ownership of yet more Les Pauls, SGs, Flying V's, an Explorer and once even the dreaded double-deadly EDS-1275.

When will Obama's heavily-armed environmental goon squad come kicking my door down?

By now we already know of the infamous raid on Gibson's guitar factory by heavily armed, ethics-challenged federal agents. Did you know there was a second raid not long after?

Senator Rand Paul held a hearing with Gibson's CEO. Check it out, then decide if you need to ditch your contraband Gibson guitars or perhaps raise nine kinds of bloody hell with your elected idiots to disband the goon squads.

The Gibson CEO is rumored to have given money, consistently, to conservative politicians. Taylor Guitars and CF Martin gave quite a bit of money to the Obama hope & change campaign. The allegedly illegal wood the goons were looking for all came from the same place, same distributors, same exporters, same importers. Some of it went to Gibson, some of it went to Taylor, some of it went to CF Martin.

Only Gibson was raided.

Chicago thuggery. Plain and simple.

I used to have a Martin guitar. Used to. An old D-28. Sold it after the Gibson raid. I tried selling it to an Obama supporter, but I couldn't find one with a good enough job that could afford it.

So I took it to a guitar store and traded it. For a Gibson.

I expect my doors to be kicked in any day now. Welcome to America Under Obama.

Tea Party versus OWS. A pictorial contrast in values.

The IRS sent back my tax return. . . AGAIN!

(from the e-mail stack)

I guess it was because of my response to the question : "List all dependents?"

"12 million illegal immigrants;

"3 million crack heads;

"42 million unemployable people on food stamps,

"2 million people in over 243 prisons;

"Half of Mexico ; and

"535 fools in the U.S. House and Senate.”

Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.

ATF: Chore Boy scrubbers must be registered and taxed as suppressors.

The Department of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.

ATF. Or as we called them in my day, "Assholes, Turds and Fuckheads."

No, they were not popular with other federal law enforcement agencies or agents. Even the IRS CID people were more liked (which is not saying a damn thing), and the local law enforcement agencies despised ATF universally.

Why? Because ATF is a solution in search of a problem.

Seems the problem now is a common and popular household scrubber called Chore Boy.

It's a copper scouring pad you can use to clean your cast-iron cookware, stubborn stains on your sink, etc etc.

A lot of gun-owners use Chore Boy pads to augment the cleaning of their bores and cylinders. I have a couple of boxes of Chore Boys at an undisclosed, secret buried location only known to one of my GPS units, that I have also hidden and which now takes another GPS to find it.

Why all the secrecy? Well it seems the geniuses at ATF now think that Chore Boy scouring pads facilitate crime and illegal activities with firearms by merely having the possibility of being used as replacement or substitute material for low-grade manufactured suppressors.

That would be "silencers" in the vernacular of the ignorant anti-gun crowd who are clueless as to the difference.

Oh, and by the way, ATF isn't stopping at Chore Boy cleaners. They're coming after your insulation, too.

Didn't "Fast and Furious" teach these imbeciles anything?

What we have with the ATF is another glaring indicator just how out of whack and out of control our government has become. What were the famous words? "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you," or something like that.

I've called my Congressman and two Senators and raised "raising Hell" to a whole new level. Fortunately, my Congressman only lives a block over from me and we run into each other quite a bit when he's not in session. He's actually a good guy, relatively new in DC and is a staunch Tea Party supporter who votes accordingly.

But I still let him have it over this ATF Chore Boy bravo-sierra.

The two senators (Hutchison and Cornyn) are worthless asswipes, so I held nothing back. The numbnuts room-temperature IQ girl at one Senator's office told me that I was "obviously angry."

Damn straight I'm angry.

As bad as I detest ATF, they are simply indicative of a far bigger problem we have. And until we get angrier and louder and start raising more hell, nothing is going to change.

If you'd told someone, anyone, ten years ago that Chore Boys would be on the national "banned" or "must register as a lethal weapon" list, you would've been laughed out of the room.

But here we are today with a well-funded, untouchable government agency working to do just that.

Remember it. Remember it today and for damned sure, remember it next November.

The $5 miracle for veterans.

There isn't a lot you can buy for five bucks anymore.

It gets you a gallon of gas, plus a splash extra in some places. Even a McDonalds "value" meal is over six bucks by the time you're finished; seven bucks or more in some places or depending on what you buy.

But five dollars will put a huge smile on a soldier's face over in Iraq or Afghanistan.

How?

Meet Airborne Angel Cadets.

This is a group of remarkable volunteers led by Nancy Carter who round up donations from grocery stores, retailers and other businesses and ship them overseas to our soldiers, sailors and airmen stationed in the most remote outposts in Iraq and Afghanistan.

For those of us who have been in such places, we know the isolation. We know how long it takes for mail to get there. We know how cut off you seem to be from the world.

Nancy and her fellow angels help change that.

Airborne Angels collects the donated goods and stores them in a warehouse who donated space to them, which in turn has allowed more retailers and grocery stores and other businesses to increase the amount of goods they donate.

But those donations still have to be shipped. And that's where you can score a smile and the eternal gratitude from our nation's finest young men and women for as little as $5.

Every dollar collected goes towards purchasing and shipping costs, and with the holidays upon us, the donated goods are rolling in.

What's needed now are dollars to get the stuff transported to our troops.

You can donate with a credit or debit card by clicking on this link.

You can mail your donation to: Airborne Angel Cadets of Texas, P.O. Box 116691, Carrollton, Texas 75011 USA

Five dollars will go a long ways. All the way to Iraq and Afghanistan.

Let's help the Angels help our troops.

Don't like my flag?

Don't like me flying the American flag?

Then kiss my ass.

I'm sick to death of pissant HOA managers and other metrosexual misfits who have such a problem with VETERANS flying the flag that we served under and protected.

Worse, I'm tired of every time a veteran protests or vows to refuse, these pissants go squealing off to find some goddamn lawyer.

As usual, we have a national holiday coming up to honor the men and women that left home, put on their nation's uniform, and stood in harm's way who cannot fly their own flag at their own residence because it might "lower property values" or "encourage others to fly distasteful banners."

But when the veterans complain, the HOAs or property managers run screaming in fear to their lawyers, who then threaten and blow hot air and stomp around and look for TV cameras to pontificate and huff and puff in front of until the veteran is forced back down.

Lawyers are today's modern-age gunslingers.

I prefer the old days with the old ways where a lawyer had better be as good with his fists, a pistol and his wits as he was with the law itself or else he got an ass-whipping of epic proportion and thought twice about filing some frivolous lawsuit against someone or defending the local rapist.

Nowadays, it seems like the ambulance chasing, publicity-whoring lawyers reproduce faster than bacteria on a locker room floor.

A veteran served and fought to defend the law, not have it hid behind or prostituted in the name of protecting "property values" as is so often the case with these HOA freaks.

But for the large part, we're a nation of apathetic asses. As long as we don't miss American Idol or Dancing With the Stars or whatever flavor-of-the-year hit reality show is on, we don't care what happens outside our little doorsteps.

That's how we got a marxist in the White House and it's why we have more laws in our tax code than we can comprehend and it's why some people have said ENOUGH.

I'm not apathetic. I fired off one nasty letter to my Congressman, who also happens to be my neighbor two streets over. Told him that if veterans were by God good enought to risk their asses protecting the country, then they should be good enough to be protected at least twice a year from any petty legal bullshit that might arise when they want to honor their comrades by flying the very flag they served under.

Personally, I think they should be able to fly their flags whenever they want, but again, we have too many pinko bedwetters running around who are too easily offended.

My flag will be flying over our property this Veterans Day.

If that offends you, too bad.

A man with a vagina.

Every once in a while, you read a story that you have to re-read not just a second time, but a third time because you're still having a hard time believing what you read the first time.

In this instance, it involves a man--and I use the term as loosely as is humanly possible--who is suing a 65-year-old wedding photography business because he didn't like the pictures shot at his wedding.

From 2003.

He wants the wedding company, as part of the lawsuit, to fly everyone from 2003 back in and recreate the whole thing. But there's just one catch.

This walking vagina is no longer married to the bride.

I wonder why.

I find it doubly interesting that this putz hasn't been employed since 2008 and that his big-bucks daddy is a letterhead partner of the shark pit representing Junior, although Junior claims to be paying the attorney's fees himself.

Huh? How does a guy out of work for the past three going on four years pay attorney fees for possibly the biggest bullshit court case in the history of New York City?

Curt Fried, co-founder and partner of the wedding photography company was a Nazi concentration camp survivor who came to America, worked hard and started a successful business that for the past 25 years has photographed hundreds of weddings, anniversaries, bar mitzvahs, reunions, etc.

And now some dickless divorceé who takes his leaks sitting down is suing because he didn't like the pictures taken eight years ago at a wedding to a woman who he is no longer married to.

Best quote of the story is from Mr. Fried himself:

Mr. Fried, now 87, chuckles at this idea: “He wants to fly his ex-wife back and he doesn’t even know where she lives.”

What if the rest of the wedding party doesn't want to show up at this loser's lawsuit re-creation, is he going to sue them too?

What if he doesn't like the cake, gonna sue the bakery too?

What if his ex-wife, intelligent woman that she (obviously) is, says no way José to a reunion to Todd for the purposes of one last smooch and dance? Will she be sued next?

Abuse of the legal system. Todd J. Remis is a poster child.

Fortunately a single poster child, as in unmarried.

Let's just hope this loser gets a vasectomy. Unfortunately, his father didn't and we see the results of that.

Sheriff urges citizens, "Get a concealed carry permit."

So just how bad has our farce of a so-called "system of justice" failed us when top law enforcement officials are publicly urging their constituents to arm themselves before leaving the house?

Thanks Eric Holder.

Eric Holder is the corrupt son of a bitch who orchestrated Fast and Furious in order to try and pull a flanking attack on American's constitutional right to keep and bear arms.

Eric Holder is also another poster boy for the failure of our farce of a justice system because not one investigation leading to his arrest or indictment has occurred.

On the flip side, we have an honest sheriff from Spartanburg County, South Carolina who is fed up with asshat lawyers like Holder and other puppets of a failed justice system posing as district attorneys and prosecutors.

His solution? Arm yourself.

He drives home this point by using this pathetic waste of a sperm cell, Walter Lance, whom he describes as "an animal" as an example of why the justice system is doomed and why citizens need to arm themselves.

Seems Lance has been stalking and terrorizing and sexually assaulting women since 1983, but the system can't do anything to keep him behind bars.

I have a solution and it goes right between the son of a bitch's eyes.

Read the linked article, then support this sheriff. He's a public official who is being brutally honest with the voting, taxpaying public he serves.

Isn't that what they're supposed to do?

I think I'll send a small contribution towards his re-election his way.

Herman Cain is proof of the mainstream media's growing irrelevancy.

Typical.

Southern, conservative, Christian, heterosexual, married, successful BLACK presidential candidate begins lighting up the polls and infusing enthusiasm into the race and the mainstream media pulls their hair out trying to figure ways to derail it.

"I got it," says Politico. "Let's just make some stuff up, be hazy on the details, protect the alleged victims' identity and we'll capture the nation's attention."

What a crock.

Didn't we see this kind of BS back in '93 over the Clarence Thomas hearings at the onset of Slick Willie's presidency (y'all remember Clinton--our first black president)?

According to the non-reaction of the NAACP and SCLC and other pro-radical/liberal/militant black taxpayer funded associations, Cain must be guilty. After all, those groups are pretty quiet right now.

But I also seem to remember when the "Rev" Jackson was accused of letting one of his little spermy swimmers loose and it hooking up to produce a love child, the same aforementioned rabble-rousers raised hell of the likes we've never seen or heard. . . since.

Maybe it was over the price of cigars they had to buy the new daddy?

But the "Rev" Jackson has some sexual harassment problems of his own right now. What--you hadn't heard that from the big media? Check it out.

So people are starting to really dig Herman Cain, his message is resonating, his popularity soaring, other candidates are attacking him and mimicking his proposals and the mainstream media just can't have that.

So, a plant piece.

Only, nobody's buying it.

I suspect if Al Gore had got off his ass sooner in '93 and given us the internet a little quicker, the same thing would've been said about Justice Clarence Thomas. Oh, except even back then nobody was really buying it, especially when it was proven what a notorious liar and goldbrick Anita Hill was--and is.

So how does this all make the mainstream media irrelevant?

Simple. I've been waiting on a "story" like this to appear. I figure it would have no facts, only speculation. No basis, other than political envy, and that the so-called "research" for such a story could've been funded just as easily from Mitt Romney's "killing machine" as it could have been from the DNC.

It would come from some two-bit no-name reporter who will peddle the story upwards until someone's attention was garnered, then the story would be pitched.

Real news doesn't have to be pitched, and right now, the mainstream media is having to pitch the vast majority of their stories.

Like I said, irrelevant.