Monday, October 24, 2011

Extreme couponers. Extreme annoyances.

I use the word annoyance because I try hard not to use the word asshole in a headline.

But that's what extreme couponers are--extreme assholes.

Once again I was at a local chain drug store on my way home and got caught behind the stereotypical wide-assed, stretch-pants wearing extreme couponer who was there with her mom/aunt/sister/neighbor/lover/whoever and they were each grunting and sweating as they removed scads of items from their shopping carts and plopped them down in front of the poor cashier.

You could tell by the look in the eyes of the high-school aged cashier that she'd seen this kind of crap way too often.

Then the two women began doling out their cart load of merchandise into separate transactions so they could get some sort of rewards along with the coupons they used.

My temper was soaring and there were no other cashiers or clerks around, as is typical with this chain drug store--and one that I now absolutely refuse to ever do business with again unless it is to take a leak in their parking lot.

Several transactions through, one of the hippos turned around and looked me, smiled and said, "We're a couple of extreme couponers."

"No," I replied. "You're a couple of extreme assholes."

For some reason, both women got offended and starting bleating and mooing about my rudeness. Problem was, they hadn't even began to see "rude" from me.  I used some of my best sergeant's vernacular on those two.

It finally brought out the manager, who I went up one side and down the other on for A) allowing these endless multiple transactions while B) not having another clerk to ring up the honest customers. This poor manager shrugs and says that "corporate" insists on catering to these coupon scamming people.

In disgust, I leave my items on the counter and walk out, as do the other four customers behind me. The two coupon cows continue sweating and grunting and raising hell with the poor cashier over which coupons they can use for which and for how much.

Hey retail corporate numbnuts? How about a checkout lane for couponers only, and then checkout lanes for the rest of us honest shoppers?

When I say "honest," I mean those customers who are not trying to game the system or wipe out shelves or who buy forty years worth of toilet paper and toothbrushes that they'll never use.

I get home and tell the wife about it. She tells me horror stories of extreme couponers. Stories of people who buy their own cash registers so they can print out forged receipts for rebates. Couponers who send their kids dumpster-diving for discarded newspapers just for the coupons.


My neighbor showed me some pictures she snapped with her iPhone of some extreme couponers shopping in a grocery store. They had their freaking iPad laid out on a portable desktop along with binders and a portable, wireless PRINTER for crying out loud, to print out coupons on things they saw!

How would you like to get behind THOSE inconsiderate assholes in the checkout line?

I'd get arrested.

A growing number of these extreme idiots are using the manufacturer and retailer coupons to stockpile massive quantities of merchandise like razors, toothbrushes, vitamins, etc, then they (re)sell it to flea markets, on Craig's List and Ebay, while some wholesale it out to locally owned convenience stores.

Worse yet, it seems that Indian and Asian owned convenience stores are using this extreme couponing to literally stock their shelves for virtually free. If you've ever walked into one of these places, you know the merchandise is marked up sky high. And finally, adding insult to injury, if the merchandise doesn't sell, these asshole store owners simply return it to the retailer for store credit.

Welcome to America.

If there's any good news to this madness it's that a growing number of retailers are starting to get smart and put limits on this extreme bullshit. Rite Aid and Target and Publix have said "no more."
No more multiple transactions. No more "stacking" coupons which I found out is using multiple coupons for the same item to not only get it free, but get a friggin' reward coupon for anywhere from a dollar to five dollars off the next purchase.

Good for you, Target. You just got some of my business. If there were Rite Aids here in Texas, you'd DAMN SURE have my business. Fortunately, the guy who runs the grocery store where we shop doesn't allow this extreme coupon shelf-clearing, multiple-transaction madness to occur in his store.

We spend copious amounts of money in his store to show my gratitude.

Walmart, the great crack whore of retailers, is now apparently accepting anything that even resembles a coupon. I think maybe I'll get a Crayon and some construction paper and write "Save $500 on any big flat screen television" and see if they'll take it.

According to the extreme couponers, all you have to do is "Stand your ground, don't back down, wear them down." This catchy little phrase was actually taken from one of the extreme asshole's websites, believe it or not.

Better yet, though, I think I'll just shop more online.

Screw the retailers.


Mudbug said...

Freakin' mouth breathing morons. Every one of them needs to smell the bottom of a swimming pool.

It's probably the only activity they can do that involves the word "extreme."

And you are right, for what? Kid's can't eat toothpaste and razors, so you can scratch "feeding your family" off the list. And some of these items are so weird that you couldn't even use them for barter. Maybe it's just the thrill of pissing off some teenage, minimum wage earning cashier?

I don't know what is worse- those people or the opposite of those people. We HAD a friend that was on food stamps. Never bought generic anything. It was like she went into the store with a blank check and went wild. We were disgusted with her. We figured out that we could eat for 6 months comfortably in what she got in food stamps for a month. But somehow it wasn't enough for her. With all the junk food, cokes, steaks, and snacks, she couldn't make $600/month last. We cross the street when we see her now. Only in America can you be 600 pounds and on food stamps.

Old NFO said...

Ridiculous, and it's only getting worse... And you are correct, I see quite a few Indians doing this in some of the stores. At that point, I just walk out. Glad to hear some folks are putting a stop to this too!

Anonymous said...

It's a sport for some people. I know men that could buy you and I out of pocket change - but they are so cheap they have to lube their asses to fart! They never tip waitresses, they buy everything on sale, and will buy tools with money-back-guarantees-if-you' their home reno project, and return them claiming they aren't satisfied with them.

I believe the liberal nanny state is basically trumping Darwin which is why these assholes are multiplying. Ordinarily f-tards like this are deleted from the gene pool by necessity or by natural selection...but the welfare state protects them, encourages them and rewards them.

North America is literally becoming an idiocracy.

Gracie said...

I am going to play devils advocate here....kind of. I coupon. I save on the razors and toothpaste so next month I don't have to buy those things and I can take my kids to the movies instead. That being said, I have a five gallon bucket full of razors, toothbrushes and toothpaste. Not an entire wall or even a whole shelf. Toilet paper on the other hand I have a whole shelf of. That stuff is VALUABLE when you are out! Our stores don't allow for doubling up on coupons or buying 20 or 30 of one item. I can usually hit on of those 10 for sales and use a coupon on ONE of those 10 items. I try to keep it simple and the items I use are for my own personal use, unless I am buying diapers with a coupon and letting my friend pay me back for them.

My biggest complaint about the whole coupon scenerio? It is all junk food. I am not going to be stocking my food storage shelves with soda and pop tarts just because they were on sale. Ok, so I did it once, but quickly learned my lesson when my kids were high on sugar for MONTHS!

Coupons can be a good thing as long as it isn't too extreme.

tha malcontent said...

Gret post you got me laughing my ass off.

Practical Parsimony said...

I supply my three children, their two spouses, a teen grandson, and three g-children, plus myself, boyfriend and anyone who needs it--toothpaste, amongst other items. I have never gotten an extreme deal, just a few extreme ones at a time.

Some people make it a career, second career, to supply women's centers, food banks, and other charities with their bounty. but the show on tv is orchestrated! It is fake.

An Ordinary American said...

There's a difference between using coupons to save money and using coupons to game the system.

These asshats that insist on multiple transactions and applying a just-printed coupon to count towards the very next transaction and then repeating are simply inconsiderate assholes.

The thing is, these extreme coupon people better enjoy it now and while it lasts. Consumers are getting sick of waiting in line behind these scammers, retailers are starting to grow weary of losing money from the scammers who buy stuff, then bring it back with no receipt to get full (store) credit and hopefully, this nonsense will come to an end.

I'm about saving money as much as the next person, but I'm not about ripping off the intentions of the manufacturers and retailers who use coupons as a traffic driver to generate trial.

But in just about any walk of life, there will always be those obnoxious walking, talking rectums that screw it up for everyone.

Those folks know who they are.


SciFiJim said...

AOA, Thank you for your last comment about saving money vs gaming the system. I was prepared to write a scathing reply to your post. When my wife and I had young children at home and I worked full time and went to school full time, she stayed at home with the kids. She was a DETERMINED couponer. She was able to cut our food and consumables bill in half with coupons. Things were so thin then that it was often the difference between between going hungry so the kids could eat and not. We were thankful for the opportunity to be able to use the coupons you are decrying. For some people it makes a difference. Thankfully our situation has improved. We are now able to help others, where at the time we were barely able to help ourselves.

Sandra Fuller said...

Yes ive noticed most are junk food.I just stick with laundry detergent body wash products that have a long shelf life and wont increase my waist line.On natural wholesome foods i price match at Walmart.Just this week Save alot store had loose pears a $1.00 a lb.Walmarts looked better so i priced matched them with a Save alot flyer i bought with me and i saved $5.00 plus gas and time going to Save alot.

Anonymous said...

I happen to be one of those extreme couponers on a fixed income with 3 children. i didnt ask for medical issues and if using those multiple transactions bother you go to another register.. i also help out several other people that are on fixed incomes and some of the stuff i get with coupons i also donate to local food banks and its not all junk food. i got plenty of stuff free that are dinner meal items..if i can save 300 a month using those coupons then i am goin to do just that..i wont sit in line and argue over whether a coupon works or not.. i just pay for it or say i dont want it. but couponing does help families if you know how to do it right. what i see is jealousy cause you dont know how to do it but a few extra bucks to pay that next bill or take my kids to the movies then i am all for it.. thanks for reading