A car guy turned Congressman gets it.

We need to send more car guys to Congress if they all think like this guy.

He actually gets it. He understands the private sector and he understands the lunacy that has become the Beltway.

About all I know is that Kelly is from Pennsylvania and at least on this video, he's not much into formalities and decorum.

Instead, he speaks the truth and in a way impossible to not understand.

Are you smarter than a politician?

This is an interesting 33-question test to take to see how much you know about America, our Constitution and Declaration, economics, and history as they all pertain to our nation and our history.

One fact at the end of the test that I found both interesting and discouraging was that the citizenry knows more about our country, economics, the Constitution and our history than do our elected officials.

THAT in and of itself is very telling.

Here is the test:

Full Civics Literacy Exam

At the end of the test in the "results" box, there will be sentence that reads:

You can consult the following table to see how citizens and elected officials scored on each question.

Click on the "table" link to be taken to the results and comparisons between ordinary citizens and our elected dumb asses.

Seeing those scores explains a helluva lot as to what is wrong with our country today.

Go ahead. Take the test. I scored an 84.85% which puts me WAY up on the elected officials pool.

Don't worry. I have less than zero interest in running for office.

Poll: Obama 42%, any Republican 46%. Hold the election today!

This is according to a Rasmussen poll taken this past week.

Fantastic news!

Yet, the blamestream media continues to harp and hem and haw about the Anointed One and they keep running sound bytes from himself and his IQ-challenged appointees as to how the "economy is recovering" or better yet, "has turned around."

When a generic unnamed candidate beats what is known and in office at present, including in Congressional and Senate races, you know that Washington needs a giant enema.

IF Rick Perry runs, here's what I want him to do

IF Perry decides to run, I would only want him to run under the following conditions:

1. While campaigning, do NOT tone down the anti-Washington, anti-Establishment and anti-RINO rhetoric you've been using up to this point. The truth hurts the Beltway bozos and they NEED to be hurt.

Take one of those Texas red, white and blue Tony Lama boots you wear and keep it up the Washington establishment's elitist ass during the ENTIRE campaign.

2. If/When you get to the White House, CLEAN HOUSE. That means EVERYONE. No hold-overs. Even the stewards and military (Navy) personnel go. Give it a COMPLETE cleaning. All new people and all new people from the Tea Party. No exceptions.

3. You will have a majority House. Use it. Beat the damned Senate into submission. If the Senate balks and pussyfoots around the way Reid and Graham and others are notorious for, turn Sarah Palin loose, nationally, to organize immediate recall petitions and elections to replace the bums.

Either that or have Chuck Norris drop kick their ass right off the planet.

4. Turn a deaf ear to the mainstream media. Revoke every damn one of their White House press passes. Tell them to go get real jobs. Start fresh. Review each press pass and research the reporter. Get the hell rid of oxygen thieves like Helen Thomas, who thankfully got herself booted out. But that ugly old cow is only one--lot more to go.

5. Promise that you will NEVER bow to some Saudi buttwipe wearing a keffiyeh or any other leader of any other country. This is the United States. We don't bow. Period. Anyone who doesn't like it, let us know. We'll revoke your foreign aid.

6. Tell the United Nations to kiss our Red, White & Blue ass. Charge them rent--the exact same amount as our national debt since we've incurred much of it bailing their sorry asses out all the way back to Korea. Either the UN pays up or their ghetto space in NYC goes up for sale.

And finally. . .

7. Move to have Congress meet once every two years, same as they do here in Texas. the less we have those assholes in their offices, the less damage they can do.

That should just about do it.

Any by the way, one media outlet has already predicted a Perry victory and given five reasons why Perry will kick the crap out of the Kenyan imposter in 2012.

Hard to argue with any of them.

I'll be as tolerant of Islam as Islam is of me.

I'm steamed. Really steamed.

Abercrombie & Fitch is getting sued because some raghead women got fired for wearing her "hijab" in violation of the company's dress code.

For the record, I think Abercrombie & Fitch thoroughly suck as a company and as a representative of anything American. I think they're a bunch of oversexed perverts who like to flaunt dangerously close to the edge of kiddie porn with some of their ads, and at other times, seem to enjoy shocking the rest of us just because they can. So trust me when I tell you that this column is NOT about sticking up for A&F.

Far from it.

But it seems that Abercrombie & Fitch has a "look" with their employees that their dress code and code of conduct is designed around. As a retired advertising and marketing executive from a large, national agency who served international clients, I can fully understand--and support--this.

In short, the look of an A&F employee is part of their brand.

Until this raghead rabble rouser came along.

I've seen plenty of stories when the Muslim women suddenly decided they needed to get a drivers license, but whatever state they were applying in told them they had to take off their headscarf and make their face visible.

You would've thought someone had handed a plate of bacon and pork rinds to Mohammad himself the way the Muslims had a fit. "Separation of church and state" many cried, even though that fallacy is NOT in our U.S. Constitution and never had been.

Naturally our asshat federal judges sided with the foreigners rather than the nation that PAYS THEM to uphold OUR laws, and before you knew it, Muslim women started appearing on drivers license with faces and or heads covered.

But wait, don't the folks at CAIR (Council for American Islamic Relations) tell us that Islam is a "religion of peace and tolerance?"

Yeah, and my ass is a Koran.

The news these days is replete, from all over the world, about Muslims getting pissed off and "offended" at anything and everything and DEMANDING that whatever offends them be removed, altered or done away with.

As a nod to Ray Wiley Hubbard and a great song, Screw you, assholes, we're from Texas and we're sick and damn tired of what the Muslims are doing everywhere else.

I hope the raghead wench and CAIR go down in flames (literally) in this lawsuit against Abercrombie & Fitch, but somehow I doubt it--especially given the present Muslim-loving piece of crap we have occupying the Oval Office.

But keep pushing us, Muslims. Go ahead. Keep pushing.

Pretty soon you assholes are going to push us too far. Then you'll discover the real meaning of "intolerance."

Gun owners. Uneducated white trash with an obsession

First, let me heartily congratulate the patriotic citizens of Wisconsin and every other patriot in America who worked, lobbied and supported their concealed carry law. I'm proud to have tossed a few dollars towards the effort.

This now leaves Illinois sitting all alone at the back of the bus. Perhaps the rest of the state can find a way to divorce itself from Chicago?

Back to Wisconsin. I like the place. It is home to both Oshkosh and Green Bay--two meccas of mine.

Oshkosh is where a gathering of aviators and airplane builders and aviation enthusiasts come each year to be young, to be filled with awe and excitement and to stare with wonder at all the marvelous flying machines that show up.

Green Bay, of course, is home to the Packers. Growing up, I was a Dallas Cowboys fan and a Green Bay Packers fan. I was--and remain so--a huge fan of Vince Lombardi and the Packers of his era.

The problem with traveling to Wisconsin was one of being stripped of civil rights--namely, being at the mercy of criminals who paid no attention to the "no guns on your body" laws.

The playing field is now even, and predictably, the anti-gun cowards are in a tizzy. According to one, who goes by "Wiseowl1960" on the comments section of a Fox News story about a Wisconsin jewelry store owner not allowing CHLs in his store while carrying, we gun-owners are "uneducated white trash."

*Note* I read the stories published on the web, but more importantly, I also read the comments by readers that are published immediately after the story. This is where I feel we get a much better understanding of the mood and opinion regarding the story.

To that end, the story talks about Robert Haack Diamonds, in Greenfield, not wanting armed, law-abiding people in his jewelry store for "fear of them wanting to negotiate price."

What?

The man is taking some heat over this. No problem. His store, his rules, his right--more or less--to say who can come in his store and who cannot.

Or is it?

What if he said, "I don't want any black people coming in and buying flashy pimp-looking jewelry." Would that be okay?

Me personally, I think Jesse Jackson would make it to Greenfield, Wisconsin at Mach 3 speed with Al Sharpton already there ahead of him.

What if the jewelry store owner said, "No handicapped people. I don't want to risk anyone getting hurt by slipping on the wheelchair ramp when it snows." Would that be okay? Don't think so. Or if the guy said, "No blind people. They can't see what they're looking at anyway, so what does it matter?"

I'm for property rights, believe me. But I'm also for civil rights and for too long, the Second Amendment has been treated as "no right at all."

Which brings me back to the asshat Wiseowl1960 and some of his ridiculous comments. I"m gonna give him a little fame here by publishing a few excerpts of his:

confirms what many people believe about gun owners, i.e. that you're uneducated white trash with an obsession.

* * * * *

NOTE: HE RUNS A JEWELRY STORE. He has every right to say "no guns in my store." He has an obligation to protect his customers and his employees from harm.

* * * * *

No business owner can gaurantee your safety, especially in a business like a jewelry store, gun store, bank, cash store, etc. If you choose to carry a weapon for "self protection" then you take responsibility not only for your own safety but those around you. Can you guarantee anyone else in the store you won't shoot them by accident or intent because you carry a concealed weapon? Are you prepared to pay damages or compensation for injuring or killing an innocent by stander because you whip your weapon to "protect yourself?" Are you prepared to go to jail for manslaughter or murder if you do?

* * * * *

He all ready puts himself and his employees at risk by operating a store with a higher risk of being robbed. He doesn't owe you or anyone else an explanation for saying don't bring your gun into my store.

* * * * *

I also expect a few pharamacies are going to opt out as well. There's been too many robberies, death, and near-murders of innocent people by robbers who use their guns to gain access to drugs.

* * * * *

Reading this makes me wonder who is uneducated and I would urge nanny pacifists like Wiseowl1960 to do a little research and utilize a little common sense as to how well "signs" have stopped criminals in the past years.

Perhaps Wiseowl1960 might feel safer in Chicago.

A Caribbean flush coming? We can only hope.

Great news today. Hugo Chavez, head tyrant of Venezuela and butt-buddy to Fidel Castro, may be close to assuming room temperature, courtesy of Cuba's socialized medicine.

Michael Moore must be having explosive dysentery over this thought since he's so enamored with both socialists and their healthcare system.

While Chavez has been out of the limelight for a few weeks, he's been in Havana. In a hospital. (Strong) rumor has it he has prostrate cancer.

Advanced. Even seems that his pal, Fidel, is so frail that he has to hang on to Hugo's arm just to stay upright. Maybe the reaper could just conserve a little energy and take them both at the same time.

It's looking more and more like that might happen.

Could this become Christmas in July?

Damned Mexicans did it again.

Only in southern California could the home team, America, be the visitor and be booed by a horde of damned Mexicans.

It's bad enough that the U.S. soccer team plays in their home country for the Gold Cup, and gets booed at home in favor of the Mexican team. But it's an insult to all Americans that the ceremonies were held in Spanish.

I'm tired of these damned Mexicans.

I'm talking about Mexicans who are living here, legally and illegally, and who are slopping at the public trough of healthcare, welfare, public housing, and anything else free they can get their hands on.

Speak up about it and you're labeled a racist.

Fine. I'm a racist. Kiss my ass.

Because if being sick and tired of these damned foreign invaders not only sucking my country dry of resources and money makes me a racist, then so be it. If being sick and tired of the disease and filth these animals bring with them makes me a racist, then so be it. If being sick and tired of the crime and Third World politics they infest us with makes me a racist, then so be it.

But just one question: How come I don't feel the same way about most Asians? Or Czechs or Poles that immigrate here? Or Ukrainians? Or Cubans?

Could it be because they actually know HOW to use a public restroom, wipe their ass, and flush it down the toilet as opposed to this animal and countless others like him?

I've said it repeatedly: Wanna come to America, get in line. Go through the checkpoints. Get your visa and I9. Get a job.

No U.S. citizenship should mean no welfare, no benefits, no nothing except a bus ticket back home if you can't make it here. This nation is replete with stories of immigrants landing here at Ellis Island with nothing but the clothes on their back and becoming quite successful.

So, if you can't do it that way, stay the hell out.

When women have more balls than men.

Pretty sad state of affairs.

A Houston-area woman was shopping in a Walmart when she witnessed three guys shoplift three cases of beer.

She brought it to the cashier's attention (she was checking out) but the cashier said there was nothing anyone could do about it.

(If any of you recall, Walmart fired three security guards in one of their Utah stores because the guards had the audacity to actually fight back against a shoplifter who pulled a gun and pointed it at them.)

Small wonder, eh? What's to stop anyone from waltzing in a Walmart and walking out with a big-screen television or a shopping cart full of beer? Just tell them (Walmart) you might have a gun and if they interfere with you, they'll be the ones fired and in trouble, not you.

Anyhow, back to Houston. The shopper's name is Monique Lawless and she is a safety engineer for Boeing, and on that day, she just got flat fed up. Big time.

She chased the suspected Katrina sewage (three brothers, by the way, all with the first name of Sylvester believe it or not) out of the store and when they got in their car and attempted to drive away, she jumped on the hood and then started stomping on the windshield.

Here's the story from Fox News.

The three pieces of shit, who are brothers, were in the Brazoria County Jail shortly thereafter facing charges of felony evading arrest and aggravated robbery. Sylvester Andre Thompson, 21; Sylvester Durlentren Thompson, 21; and Sylvester Primitivo Thompson, 19.

I read some comments on several of the published stories from "civilized" folks who claimed she was just stupid. Stupid to risk her life over a few cases of beer. Stupid to chase them out. Blah blah blah.

These folks don't get it--and never will. So I'll explain it to them:

We're FED UP! We're fed up with punks and thugs and goons doing whatever they DAMN WELL PLEASE inside of decent, civilized society. They do this BECAUSE of the people with attitudes of "a case of beer isn't worth risking your life over."

IT AIN'T THE BEER! It's the fact that such LAWLESSNESS runs amok and we LET IT RUN AMOK. Ms. Lawless witnessed a crime, reported it, and was told "nothing anybody can do."

Well guess what? She chased them, it all got caught on security cameras, the police got off their asses for once and chased the pukes down and arrested them.

I'd say Ms. Lawless accomplished something that day. She accomplished a helluva lot more than the do-nothings sitting in front of a computer condemning her.

My hat's off to you, Monique Lawless.

The correct way to arrest a terrorist

I get tired of the liberals pointing towards other countries and saying, "See? See? That's how WE should be doing things. It works for THEM!"

So to the handful of liberals that An Ordinary American gets forwarded to via e-mail, stick THIS one up your pipe and smoke it.

You want to do things like this? Hell, I'm all for it.

Let's do it.

So what say you, libs? I'm MORE than ready to start dealing with terrorists this way.

Westboro Baptist freaks and an Army PFC square off

Kelly Green, the lovely USAF reservist and full-time college student who publishes In And Around The Military, wrote and asked me if I'd opine on the family of slime from Topeka who ooze their way to soldier's funerals and protest with vile signs and chants.

I'm referring, of course, to the Westboro Baptist freakshow.

For the record, I refuse to acknowledge them as a church. Instead, I look at them no differently than I do the New Black Panthers, the Taliban, Al-Queda or, for that matter, the Democratic National Convention.

All hate America. All revile our military.

Turds of a feather, you know.

What set Kelly off was a correspondence between one of our nation's finest, a young Army PFC stationed within stench distance of the Westboro Baptist freakshow's cesspool headquarters who is currently deployed to Iraq.

I am going to withhold the young private's name. Given the SOBs in this present administration and how they like to bring Navy SEALs up on charges, excuse Islamic terrorists who murder at Fort Hood, and so on, I don't want to bring any heat down on this young private from the limpdicked doves in the Capitol or the Pentagon.

So I'll call him Private John, and here is his initial correspondence to the Topeka freakshow:

This was my message to them:
I understand where you come from, I understand your fight, I myself am a Catholic and was raised in the belief that homosexual activity is a sin. I am currently on deployment to Iraq, and I am stationed not too far from you at all, at Fort Riley, just a quick hour drive.

I have been to your house, even waved at one of your family members washing a car in the driveway, I was in uniform and was surprised when I received a friendly wave in return, even sent to me with a smile.

You may have stopped reading by now, but I hope you continue.

I was always taught to learn as much about the enemy as possible, and I know you have already declared me your enemy, because as you now know I am a Catholic soldier, but before I continue I want to tell you more about myself, I support homosexual rights, one of my best friends is Islamic, I think the Jewish community has some great members, although I find Adam Sandler rather distasteful I think some of our best performers happen to be Jewish. I love America, and love getting to know more about other peoples.

Now that I know I am your enemy, I can tell you that in return I also consider your organization to be my greatest enemy, actually as I type this you are in my home town of Sacramento picketing a memorial service of a soldier that I didn't have the chance of meeting, but am proud to say that I served with him.

The term righteous indignation enters my mind whenever I think of WBC, a term I assume you are familiar with. As I said I love getting to know more about peoples different than I, and the fact that I try to get to know my enemy as much as possible, I research your organization "religiously."

I do not know if it is just members of your organization or the family itself that will be in San Jose on the fourth of March, but I do hope it is the family. I want a chance to hear from you directly your beliefs and talk to each other in a manner of civilized people. To share with each other our ideals, yours which are made public on signs, but only in short bursts of hateful words.

I will be on mid-tour leave at this time of March the fourth, and will be present in San Jose. Expect to be greeted by me in a respectful manner, after all you are using a right in which I fight for, and my friends have died for. I may even buy you a cup of coffee, over which we can talk.

For as much anger as I feel towards you, and I am sorry to say but the hate that I feel for you, I wish no harm befall you during our encounter, you can be assured that I am probably the safest, hateful person you will encounter. Enough blood has spilled over keeping the rights of the American people safe that I wish no violence befall those who use them. I hope for a reply via e-mail, hopefully soon. God bless.

Sincerely,

Private First Class "John", United States Army

Okay. I'm all right with that. In fact, for a young E-2, I'm pretty damned impressed.

Now, let's see how the pack of incestuous peckerheads responded, which by the way, was not back to Private John, but instead on their blog. Check it out:

Subject: A Simple Request To Talk In San Jose

I understand where you come from, I understand your fight, I myself am a Catholic and was raised in the belief that homosexual activity is a sin. I am currently on deployment to Iraq, and I am stationed not too far from you at all, at Fort Riley, just a quick hour drive. I have been to your house, even waved at one of your family members washing a car in the driveway, I was in uniform and was surprised when I received a friendly wave in return, even sent to me with a smile. You may have stopped reading by now, but I hope you continue. I was always taught to learn as much about the enemy as possible *** [ Editor: Pursuant to the "barf factor" rule I am sparing you the remaining details. These fools having nothing original or useful to say, and could use a good lawyer that knows the jurisprudence of the anti-stalking statutes. You can thank me later. :) ]

Pfc. John Ibowtothesword, Jr.

Dear Pfc. Ibowtothesword, Jr.:

John,

I got to “I myself am a Catholic and was raised in the belief that homosexual activity is a sin” and stopped. Because there are a billion+ of you zombie freaks out there with the same credentials. The rest of the story: Priests Rape Boys and you like it. What they say doesn’t match up with what they do; so you think you can say one thing and do another. You and yours justify Sodom and Gomorrah. Step away from the joy juice, a/k/a Satan’s koolaid.

So, naturally, it makes good sense that you have “Pfc” in front of your name. You and yours are made to be taken and destroyed:

2 Peter 2:12 But these, as natural brute beasts, made to be taken and destroyed, speak evil of the things that they understand not; and shall utterly perish in their own corruption.

The Iraqi worshippers of pedophile Muhhamad and you priests-rape-boys worshippers have a lot in common.

Therefore, you deserve exactly what you get at the hands of the Avenger. And while we are on the subject, you really must take listen to our parody “The Avenger Is Coming Your Way”. http://www.godhatesfags.com/audio/index.html#parodiesPlaylist

You gentile dogs have despised the spirit of grace too long and now it is cut off from you. Praise God.

Your best friends at WBC

For anyone doubting who these pieces of shit are, the above is only a small smattering of the fertilizer and perversion that they spew.

But for all of these freaks' bluster and bravery and "warrior for God," they are absolute chickenshit cowards at heart.

Absolute. Chickenshit. Cowards.

Some wackjob in California wrote these losers and hem-hawed about how he heard a talk-radio guy mention that members of the Westboro Baptist freakshow should "have their faces re-arranged." He whined that this was "inciting violence" and bravely volunteered to "give a legal deposition."

Hold me back Superman, what a freaking hero we have here. . . (How do I turn the sarcasm/contempt type thing off?)

The head freaks gleefully pointed to the Supreme Court allowing them to protest and boasted how Albert Snyder predicted on CBS news that day that their "blood would run in the streets" courtesy of angry veterans and Americans.

Fred, the penis-head himself smirked that it hasn't happened.

Yet.

Message to the freaks from a majority of us veterans: We know all about your right to protest. We fought for it. We bled for it. Many of our friends died for it.

You want to mock that, be careful. Be goddamned careful. You never know when some crazy vet might just twist off.

Remember--we're the ones who know how to fight and have been trained to fight, not you.

One day, you're going to push some folks too far.

Two must haves: '55 Chevy with 3000hp P51 engine, uber-automatic .22LR

Hot damn!

Talk about "gotta have it" toys.

I like airplanes, I like cars, I like guns. Two out of three can be found on this absolute freakin' BEAST of a car. . .

Suggestion. Get you something cool and "refreshing" to drink before firing up this short video. Why? Because when he lights off that 3000 horsepower Merlin Rolls-Royce engine under the hood of that customized 1955 Chevy, you need to take a long sip and lean back and go, "Ahhhhhh!"

That is 1650 supercharged cubic inches of pure, untamed power rumbling. The torque (or P-factor as us flyboys refer to it) actually tries to flip the car over almost as much as it works to move it forward!

The sound of that engine firing up alone will instantly erase anything bad that may have happened to you in the past twenty-four (or more) hours.

And after this video, there is pure unadulterated cordite pleasure in the AM15 fully-automatic .22LR that fires like a gazillion rounds, non-stop for seemingly forever.

If only there was some way to put this gun on that '55 Chevy. . .

Boys and our toys. . .  (thankfully, my lovely wife understands that we never grow up.)

Can you spot the illegal alien?

From a security camera at Sky Harbor International Airport (PHX) in Phoenix, Arizona. These people are animals.

There is a right way and a wrong way to come to America. Ask any rancher or property owner in any of the border states what kind of damage and trash, feces, waste and other atrocities illegals slinking across the border leave behind them. Check out Trash left behind by illegal immigrants causing problems, a report done by a Laredo, Texas television station.

And then there are these pictures from the trash and garbage left behind along Arizona's 370 miles of border with our southern misunderstood neighbor.

What's the answer?

We are. Americans. Especially those of us who live in border states. Here is a group we support wholeheartedly. Minuteman Project These are volunteer Americans who patrol the border and communicate to Border Patrol agents when they spot illegals slinking across the border.

The other answer is to vote every damned elected official out of office who doesn't believe in securing our borders.

I personally have no problems with armed citizens patrolling our borders. It IS, after all, OUR country and not the Mexicans' or any other foreign invader's.

How is it that so many of our cranial rectitus suffering liberals seem to forget this?

2011 Hurricane season--a different view.

A month or so ago, the hurricane geeks made their usual wishy-washy prediction for the upcoming hurricane season.

Seems we're going to have between twelve and eighteen big winds roaming around the Atlantic, with their eye on the Caribbean and the United States.

Traditionally, the hurricane geeks like to name these storms, and usually with weird names that mean absolutely nothing. You know, stuff like Hurricane Bob or Hurricane Helen. Last year, I think it was, we had Hurrican Igor and THAT was kinda cool, but for the most part, the names are bland.

One moronic elected idiot from Texas, Sheila Jackson Lee, complained several years ago that the hurricane names weren't "African-American enough."

WTF?

Was she meaning we should name these big blows stuff like "Hurricane DeShawn Tyronius Ice-Block" or "LaTisha Pamaja Chantelle?"

That got me to thinking, and in doing so, I'm proposing my own names for these upcoming big blows. So for the 2011 Hurricane Season's 12 to 18 predicted storms, here is An Ordinary American's nomination for names.

1. Hurricane Arnold Scwarz. Much like the former California governor, this storm will accomplish little but have big fanfare while doing so. Years later, meteorologists will discover that Hurricane Arnold spawned several baby storms that their radars somehow missed.

2. Hurricane Kerry. This storm will be nicknamed "Swift Boat," and it will be notorious for a constant change of direction, all the while never going anywhere. It will be remembered for first heading towards the U.S. before not heading for the U.S.

3. Hurricane Charlie. This will be the doofus part of an unusual hurricane actually made up of two and a half storms. It will show great promise, get lots of media coverage and have worldwide viewers tracking its erratic and sometimes erotic movements. Unfortunately, it will have a complete meltdown and blow itself out into obscurity.

4. Hurricane Monica. Talk about getting blown. Cigar sales will skyrocket during this storm.

5. Hurricane Biden. Undoubtedly the dumbest storm of the season, nonetheless, it will be described as a "big f***ing deal." Fortunately, it will have no direction on its own.

6. Hurricane Sarah. This will be the storm the media tries to destroy, but to no avail. CBS, CNN, ABC, MSNBC and other lamestream media headquarters will evacuate all personnel with the approach of Sarah. Forecasters predict this storm will take aim at Washington DC and flush it more thoroughly than a Fleet Enema kit from CVS. After DC, Sarah will move up the east coast, flinging liberals into the sea never to be seen again.

7. Hurricane Weiner. This will be the most Tweeted storm in history with winds strong enough to blow the panty hose and bras right off every cross-dresser in the U.S. Monuments will be erected in memory of this storm.

8. Hurricane Pelosi. This hurricane will give frightening new meaning to the favorite phrase of all weathermen when they warn us, "Folks, this one is going to be real ugly."

9. Hurricane W. This storm will never make landfall and never come close to the U.S. However, for decades to come, every natural weather disaster in the entire northern hemisphere will be blamed on Hurricane W.

10. Hurricane Mexico. This hurricane will be basically too lazy to even form up into a tropical blow, but somehow will still invade the shores of Texas and cost gazillions of dollars in damage and expense. Worse yet, this storm may never end.

11. Hurricane Mitt. Who the hell knows WHERE this storm will go or end up? A forecaster's worst nightmare.

12. Hurricane Rahm. A hurricane that will violate all laws of nature and ravage Chicago, even though by (natural) law, hurricanes can never reside in Chicago even though it's known as the Windy City. Fatalities will be greatly exaggerated due to cemeteries being a primary focus of Hurricane Rahm. FEMA aid and response will never have happened so fast with any other disaster as it will be with Hurricane Rahm.

13. Hurricane Obama. This storm will originate in the drylands of Kenya, and rather than moving west, will hop over the continent and head towards Hawaii. From Hawaii, it will simply disappear for an undetermined period of time, suddenly reappearing in the Caribbean where it will appear to threaten Cuba and Guantanamo Bay. Gitmo will be completely spared as the storm sets a new course at the Southern United States where the cost and damage will be in the mega-zabillions of dollars. The quote of the decade will be from Gulf coast forecasters who continue to say, "Folks, we have to hope this thing is going to change its course." The U.S. may not survive this storm.

So there you have it. My thirteen predictions for the upcoming 2011 Hurricane Season.

Time to sit back and glue myself to the big screen TV now.

Police women of the world.

Something light and fun for Dad's day. Candid snapshot of various police women from around the globe.

Russia

China

Austria

India

Indonesia

Holland

Malaysia

Lithuania

Singapore

Sweden

Great Britain

Israel

Japan

Italy

Germany

Taiwan

Pakistan

Washington, DC

Is it any wonder why the crime rate is what it is in our nation's capital?

Sorry, stupid-assed judges.

If there is a greater violation of Constitutional "due process" than red-light cameras, I'd like to know what it is.

Wait. I probably don't. Some damned judge will be jumping through hoops like a circus poodle to defend it.

Case in point: A federal robed Emperor over-ruled the Houston city council's vote to not only do away with the red-light cameras they (stupidly) purchased and put into place, but ruled they had to keep them.

Even though over 180,000 Houstonians, THROUGH THE BALLOT BOX/PETITION BOX, said they didn't want them. Federal judge invalidates vote ending Houston's red light system

It's one of those rare instances in which elected officials and government officials actually LISTEN to the people they are paid to SERVE, and then some goddamn federal judge swings his gavel and in essence says, the People do not matter.

Down in Houston, the city numbnuts let themselves get bumfoozled by a group of the biggest scheisters on Planet Earth--which would be any communist, bed-wetting, pinko bunch of nerdlike ilk who build, maintain, sell and promote red-light cameras.

For any of you who still live in either Free America or in a cave and do not know what red-light cameras are, I'll explain.

If you run a red light, this camera takes a picture of your license tag. Then some municipal bureaucrap mails you a citation in the mail. You pay the fine or you get a warrant issued for your arrest.

Basically, it's that simple.

Except for one thing: How does the bureaucrap who mails you the citation know that YOU were operating the motor vehicle that allegedly cruised through the red light?

They don't. Some police chief and city manager type a-holes claim that the camera can also take a picture through the windshield or a side window (how the HELL can it do that?) in order to positively identify the driver.

Bull. Shit.

Given the angle of sun, time of day, tinted windows, etc etc., there is no proof-positive way to know who was driving your vehicle and who allegedly blew through a red light. Due process is just that, DUE PROCESS. You cannot give my car a ticket for an operational (moving) violation--that is the OPERATOR'S responsibility. Yet, these red-light cameras only take pictures of the license tag, and based upon registration, the OWNER of the vehicle is sent the citation.

Go ahead, take it to court. You have to prove that you were NOT in the car that allegedly ran the red light.

Our Constitution says it is the GOVERNMENT'S responsibility to prove that we are guilty (in the car that allegedly ran the red light).

One more example of how our rights are not just slowly slipping away from us--they're eroding like top soil during a raging flood.

When your last line of defense, the courts, side with revenue (red-light camera company) rather than reason-of-law, you've got problems.

And thanks to federal assholes like this judge, we have problems.

Thank God we have the Second Amendment. Tyranny is a lot closer than we think.

Drinking, driving and making whoopee all at the same time, and all IN THE BACK SEAT.

First off, not making Whoopee Goldberg. Making whoopee as in "doing the wild thing" or "making the beast with two backs" or--

Sex.

Lawsuit claims drunken sex in backseat of car while driving 85mph

Three behaviors that could be classified as risky all on their own, but holy moly. . . to combine them? Let's look at them:

1. Speeding. This behavior gave us ugly cops with questionable radar guns and a whole new sleaze industry: The Traffic Lawyer.

2. Drinking. You know that old saying about how "Girls get prettier at closing time" goes, don't you. I wonder if this is why the guy in the story was speeding, although supposedly he had the girl WITH him, and in the backseat allegedly doing the activity for which In & Out Burgers was named. And that brings us to--

3. Having sex in the backseat of a car. And this is how the whole chiropractor thing got started. Even back in the days when folks were fleeing the east and heading west in covered wagons, they tried making whoopee in the back of that thing. Probably why so many of the early settlers walked funny and were always holding their backs.

But what I wanna know is this: How the hell did this guy do his drinking, his lovemaking AND his driving all at the same time from the backseat--and while doing 85mph?

Talk about your potential for a reality show. . .

Airborne Angel Cadets. I goofed up.

I ran into Nancy Carter today. Many of you will remember her from the story I wrote over Memorial Day weekend, Airborne Angels.

In the story, I introduced you to Airborne Angel Cadets of Texas, an incredible charity that purchases things for our troops over in Afghanistan and Iraq that they cannot get over there--things like body wash, different brands of deodorant, snacks, disposable cameras, underwear and t-shirts, Tylenol and Advil, allergy OTC medication and much more.

Not only does Nancy and her charity round this stuff up, but they also ship it as well.

In the piece I wrote entitled "Airborne Angels," I made reference to the Airborne Angel Cadets badge on the side of this blog underneath the "Worthy organizations and causes to join, support or donate to" header, and indicated that readers could simply click on it to be taken directly to the donation/support page of Airborne Angels' web site.

I'm an idiot. A computer idiot.

Nancy thanked me for the post and was very grateful for the donations that were sent in from the folks moved enough to look up the website and then find the donation page--after I dropped the ball with trying to put the link in.

So let's try this again.

I've fixed the link under the "Worthy organizations" sidebar of this blog, and anyone who would like to donate any amount to this godsend of an organization for our troops serving over in Sandland can also click here:

Donate today to Airborne Angel Cadets

Here is where it will go and what it will do.

Again, on behalf of Nancy, her volunteers and especially the troops overseas they support, your donations are very much appreciated.

The Trunk Monkey

Ah, but if only Detroit and the automakers could actually come up with something like this.

Many years ago, I hired a young copywriter straight out of University of North Texas. I'll call him Matt since that is half of his real name. He's gone on to become a very senior managing director at a very large national advertising agency, which makes me proud like a dad.

Matt had--and has--incredible talent, but he was always enamored with the idea of using a monkey as part of an advertising campaign. I told him if he could ever find the right campaign at the right time for the right client, then I might consider letting him and his art director partner comp the idea up and then I might think about letting him present it to the client.

With clients like Pizza Hut, Pepsi, American Airlines, M&Ms and other blue-chippers, that was a helluva lot of "ifs" and "mights" in there. Matt found one opportunity, albeit so slim as to be anorexic, to possibly use a monkey in a print ad for Pizza Hut.

And unbelievably, he got it pushed through. I think the client agreed hoping it would quench his thirst for placing simians in ads. And of course, all it did was really ignite Matt.

I don't know if the Trunk Monkey was his creation. I'd like to think it is as the writing, casting, style and scripts mimic his style perfectly.

If Matt didn't write or concept these, then I'm pretty certain he has a new hero in the business.

These are funny as can be and had me laughing out loud more than once.

Enjoy.

Thunderbird ejection and crash.

Density altitude affects jets same as it does us little piston-engine guys. Hell of a price to pay for such a miscalculation, but at least the driver saw it coming and did the smart thing.

And, "Knock it off" is Thunderbird code for "stop everything, something's gone wrong."

My last flight before I sold my airplane

(For the record, as I've added this since the original posting, this is NOT ME flying this airplane. Have no idea who it is. I got the video in an e-mail entitled "My last flight before I sold my airplane." Sorry for any confusion. You can see my posted comment down below regarding my attitude and philosophy when it comes to aviation. In short, I don't take chances. Period. No old and bold pilots in my family.)

No copy needed. The video explains it quite well.

JUSTICE! Registered Sex Offender rolls over, dies while raping an elderly woman.

Take a look at this piece of human garbage.

This is a prime example of Mexico's most famous exported sewage these days.

Isabel Chavelo Gutierrez is was a convicted sex offender who slimed his way through the system, somehow gained freedom and then did what so many other registered perverts do.

He raped/assaulted again.

This time Fate or Karma or the ghosts of the Alamo saw fit to intervene. According to the news wire story, Man dies while raping elderly South Texas woman, this puke-bucket told the victim he wasn't "feeling good," rolled over, and died.

That's justice.

Too bad the nutless numbnuts in DC can't see the illegal scourge for what it truly is.

If we're lucky, perhaps Fate or Karma or the ghosts of the Alamo will start enacting their own revenge.

A good start would be to make Anthony Weiner's tallywhacker fall off.

I'll take justice however and whenever it appears these days.

I am NOT jumping in the swimming pool!

Anyone who has ever doubted the intelligence of a dog needs to pay careful attention to this.

And of course, should you ever find yourself in need of a beer. . .

That's why they call them "Man's Best Friend."

A harmonica in Carnegie Hall

Nothing to be said here. The guy playing the harmonica says it all.

I will add, however, I have never heard the William Tell Overture (theme to The Lone Ranger) like this. You have to hear it to believe it.

That's talent. Big time talent.

Wild Bill speaks the truth for all of us

Here's a fellow Texan laying out all out so that even the dumbest cave-dwelling goat-herder can understand.

This should be an international PSA.

Airhead gets the boot for texting in theater.

I love it. Love it. Love it. Love it.

Cell phones annoy the living hell out of me. Texting annoys me even more. It seems the New Age posture for dumbass teenagers and young adults is a slouching walk, neck craned over, eyes glued to the postage stamp screen, and thumbs working furiously.

These idiots could be walking into a sewer full of freshly molten shit writhing with zombie cobras and not even know it, so glued to their texting screens they are.

These people text everywhere--in the grocery store, at school, in the restrooms. . . and of course, that location where rude and inconsiderate behavior spawns like foul protozoa on a wet locker room floor--The Theater.

A Texas theater chain has said, "Enough. No talking. No texting. If you do, we'll kick your ass out." And they mean it, as this bimbo found out.

Good for the Alamo Drafthouse. Next trip to Houston or San Antonio or the cesspool (Austin), I'll have to make it a point to stop in for dinner and a show.

Don't mess with Texas theaters.

The best 1911 .45ACP pistol shot. . . EVER

You gotta love it when some of your best friends are gun-nuts, veterans AND pilots--and all at the same time.

The result is often fascinating e-mails, such as this one.

Best Shot with a 1911. Ever.
by Phil Bourjaily

While compiling the timeline for “Pistol of the Century,” our tribute to the 1911 in the June issue of Field & Stream, I read through many accounts of the 1911 in combat. The most unusual shot,(and possibly the best ever) made in wartime with a 1911 pistol had to be the one fired by a USAAF B-24 co-pilot named Owen J. Baggett in March, 1943 in the skies over Burma. Of course, I am biased toward this one as it involves a flying target . . .

On a mission to destroy a railroad bridge, Baggett’s bomber squadron was intercepted by Japanese Zero fighters and his plane was badly damaged. After holding off the enemy with the top turret .50s while the gunner tried to put out onboard fires, Baggett bailed out with the rest of the crew. He and four others escaped the burning bomber before it exploded.

The Zero pilots circled back to strafe the parachuting crewmen, killing two and lightly wounding Baggett, who played dead in his harness, hoping the Japanese would leave him alone. Though playing dead, Baggett still drew his .45 and hid it alongside his leg...just in case. A Zero approached within a few feet of Baggett at near stall speeds. The pilot opened the canopy for a better look at his victim.

Baggett raised his pistol and fired four shots into the cockpit. The Zero spun out of sight. Although Baggett could never believe he had shot down a fighter plane with his pistol, at least one credible report said the plane was found crashed, the pilot thrown clear of the wreckage with a single bullet in his head.

If Baggett really did shoot down a fighter with his 1911, it has to count as one of the greatest feats ever accomplished with a .45.

Baggett survived two years in a Japanese prison camp in Singapore and eventually retired from the Air Force as a colonel.

Here's a link to a 1996 Air Force Magazine account of the incident: David and Goliath: 2nd LT Owen J. Baggett

Good shooting. Awe inspiring bravery.

Absolute air superiority.

I got my first flight when I was a bit over five years old. It was in a Cessna 150 on a hot fall day in Munday, Texas. From the moment the prop spun, I was hooked. It was THE coolest thing ever.

Slipping the surly bonds of earth. . . being at eye level with the puffy cumulus clouds that build over west Texas in the afternoon hours. . . the lazy, efficient power-off glide back to the short and narrow runway the local cropdusters used. . . the gentle touching down and the audible "chirping" of the main landing gear when they kissed the hot asphalt. . . I made up my mind on THAT day that someday, I would become a pilot.

I was blessed. My first airplane ride was courtesy of my uncle, an Air Force pilot who had just finished his Undergraduate Pilot Training (UPT) at Williams Air Force Base in Arizona.

Throughout the years, everytime my uncle came to town in his airplane, I would hint about taking a flight. He always understood and almost always (unless the weather decided otherwise) took me up. He's the one responsible for me earning my wings and to this day, he remains my favorite flying passenger, mentor and perpetual instructor.

I grew up loving airplanes. All airplanes. If it had wings--I preferred fixed wings--I was fascinated and enamored by it. After high school, I enlisted in the Air Force.

I was in Valhalla. All those airplanes. . . jets, turbines like the C-130 and even a few piston engine types were held over and used by remote State Guard units. Overseas, you'd see a few piston engine aircraft still being used by that nation's military.

Air Force and Navy pilots amazed me. I idolized them. Military pilots are generally pretty cool people and the ones who were true aviators always saw in someone like me, that love and adoration of the sky.

Two fighter pilots in the 388th Tactical Fighter Wing, back in the old Tactical Air Command (TAC) days, had planes of their own. One had a Cessna 210 and the other a Piper J3 Cub. Both used to take me flying on good weather days, and I loved every minute of it.

It took some years later, after the military and after college and after some hard years on the career trail, but eventually I earned my private pilot's license. To this day, I still enjoy each flight almost as much as I did when I was a wide-eyed five-year-old back in the cotton fields of west Texas.

I enjoy participating in the EAA's Young Eagles program where pilots give youngsters their first rides in general aviation airplanes. In addition, I fly for Grace Flight, which provides transportation for medical patients traveling to or from appointments or treatments. I am also passionate about helping folks experience their first ride in one of "those little airplanes."Here are a couple of pictures of such outings.

These are a couple of youngsters I took up on their first flight

as a reward for good grades.

The two young men to the left come from Ireland and 

were part of a much larger group known as The Ulster Project. 

If you'll note in the background, the clouds were starting 

to get gray and heavy as the ceilings dropped. It rained 

later that day, but we got our flights in.

And speaking of eagles. . .

I also enjoy reading about flying exploits and even though this particular e-mail exploit has been sent to me several times in the past few years, it's simply too good not to share with all of you.

It's a tale of true air superiority, told by a retired fighter pilot in only the way such an aviator could properly tell it.

(I see this almost every day but with Red Tail Hawks not Eagles, and some of the Crows I think are Ravens, but they do battle every day.)

The Hawk's sit in the tree's and watch our field for Gophers and dive bomb them and usually are successful. The Great Blue Herrons are like a CAT They walk around the field and stand like a statue then bam, they got a Gopher, I need more of them.....

This came from a gent who runs a 2000 acre corn farm up around Barron, Wi., not far from Oshkosh. He used to fly F-4Es and F-16s for the Guard and participated in the first Gulf War.

His story:

I went out to plant corn for a bit to finish a field before tomorrow morning and witnessed The Great Battle. A golden eagle - big, with about a six foot wingspan - flew right in front of the tractor. It was being chased by three crows that were continually dive bombing it and pecking at it. The crows do this because the eagles rob their nests when they find them.

At any rate, the eagle banked hard right in one evasive maneuver, then landed in the field about 100 feet from the tractor. This eagle stood about 3 feet tall. The crows all landed too, and took up positions around the eagle at 120 degrees apart, but kept their distance at about 20 feet from the big bird. The eagle would take a couple steps towards one of the crows and they'd hop backwards and forward to keep their distance. Then the reinforcement showed up.

I happened to spot the eagle's mate hurtling down out of the sky at what appeared to be approximately Mach 1.5. Just before impact the eagle on the ground took flight, (obviously a coordinated tactic; probably pre- briefed) and the three crows which were watching the grounded eagle, also took flight thinking they were going to get in some more pecking on the big bird.

The first crow being targeted by the diving eagle never stood a snowball's chance. There was a mid-air explosion of black feathers and that crow was done. The diving eagle then banked hard left in what had to be a 9G climbing turn, using the energy it had accumulated in the dive, and hit crow #2 less than two seconds later Another crow dead.

The grounded eagle, which was now airborne and had an altitude advantage on the remaining crow, which was streaking eastward in full burner, made a short dive then banked hard right when the escaping crow tried to evade the hit. It didn't work - crow #3 bit the dust at about 20 feet AGL.

This aerial battle was better than any air show I've been to, including the war birds show at Oshkosh . The two eagles ripped the crows apart and ate them on the ground, and as I got closer and closer working my way across the field, I passed within 20 feet of one of them as it ate its catch.

It stopped and looked at me as I went by and you could see in the look of that bird that it knew who's Boss Of The Sky. What a beautiful bird!

I loved it. Not only did they kill their enemy, they ate them. One of the best Fighter Pilot stories I've seen in a long time... There are no noble wars-- Only noble warriors