Sunday, April 24, 2011

Eric Heyl--just another pissant, anti-gun, numbnuts reporter

It seems a certain columnist for the local Pittsburgh paper is getting his ass kicked up and down and all around by some angry conservative females.

So, for the record, I am a conservative male, who shaves his face rather than his legs and who takes his leaks standing up rather than sitting down. And as a native Texan, I have been genetically programmed by my ancestory to defend the honor of women when and where appropriate.

But in this case, I'm only playing clean-up hitter because the women-folk have done a downright admirable job of exposing this guy and laying the smack down on him. So how did this all start, you ask?

This year's NRA annual meeting and convention is in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania--a city I've come to love.

Pittsburgh reminds me of my adopted hometown of Kansas City--a good mix of hard-working blue and white collar folks, great food, good sports teams (well, Pittsburgh more than KC these days), and plenty to do.

But according to a local columnist who writes for the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, Eric Heyl, women need not bother venturing downtown next weekend to the NRA convention.

According to Heyl, there are a variety of reasons why you of the more delicate sex should not bother attending this year's NRA Annual Meeting & Convention. In the pissant's own words:
• Spending several hundred dollars on a serviceable handgun might leave them without enough money to get the full treatment at that next visit to the day spa.

• Carrying a gun in a small purse would leave less room for more important items, such as lipstick or compact.

• The baggy clothing required to successfully conceal most holsters would make them appear frumpy.

• Gunpowder residue might stain the new Karen Scott blouse they just bought at Macy's.

• The gunpowder smell when the weapon is fired could totally overwhelm the Chanel they're wearing.

• Most firearm accessories come only in one boring color: black.

• Target practice earplugs simply aren't sexy.

Obviously Heyl knows about as much about female gun-owners as Barney Frank knows about testosterone.

It would be interesting to see him explain his misogynist views to the caribou-killer (as he refers to her), Sarah Palin, and see how far he got chopped down at the knees. And just as interestingly would be to do a "couple's comparison" of Sarah and Todd Palin standing next to Eric Heyl and whoever his mate du jour might be.

Who would epitomize what America is about in terms of self-reliance, ruggedness and success?

Damn sure wouldn't be this pissant columnist.

I found out about this yokel through one of my favorite blogs, The Breda Fallacy. I would encourage Mr. Heyl to check out Breda's blog, check out her pictures, and then re-think his asinine attempts at sexist humor regarding women, guns and the NRA convention.

I'd also caution Mr. Heyl about getting into a word-slinging faceoff with Breda. The blogger is a librarian and has more words at her immediate disposal than Heyl has pubic hairs on his now missing-in-action testicles.

In fact, here ya go Heyl, here are a few more women with guns you might want to run your opinions past: View From The Porch, Politics, Guns and Beer, and then if you have any doubts left over, check out this one from a fellow Texan, Bells A Ringing.

Would enjoy seeing you explain your views and beliefs regarding women and guns to those ladies.

It always cracks me up how so-called defenders of the little people (journalists) are often the biggest damned hypocrites there are. Heyl's mocking of women simply because they may like guns is a good example. Same with his caribou-killer label he so un-originally hung on Sarah Palin. The stereotypes of women and their purses, shopping habits, Chanel perfume, etc. So where the hell are the NAGs (National Association of Gals, as coined by Rush Limbaugh) or any other feminist groups?

Gotta stop. Damned if I'm not starting to sound politically correct here, which this ol' Texas boy is anything but PC. . . Kinda how I get when our women's honor is being challenged because they own a firearm. Likewise, I'd like to talk to the (suppopsed) gun-store owner/worker Heyl (supposedly) interviewed who said women were an un/undertapped market for gun sales.

Maybe that might be because of pissants like Heyl and their attitude about women?

In the meantime, it wouldn't surprise me at all to discover that Mr. Heyl takes his leaks sitting down and shaves his arm pits. He certainly seems to have all other aspects of the female gender down.

Maybe the women attending the NRA convention should send him some tampons?

10 comments:

Brad K. said...

There are other aspects of women with guns. Such as revolutionary war era re-enactor Nancy R. (http://excelsatnothing.blogspot.com/2011/04/guess-who-i-got-to-meet-today.html). With her .80 caliber muzzleloader.

Nancy spends much of her time on period-authentic clothing, and the period hospital group she belongs to.

As for Mr. Heyl, there actually are a number of pink handguns, and some in camouflage that aren't all black. Or blue. With wood trim. I think there is already a Barbie version out there. So he is factually wrong in at least one important point in his story. That makes for really poor research, and casts aspersions on the rest of his writing. I am kinda waiting for a Spongebob Squarepants concealed-carry weapon, so the anti-gun crowd can worry about 'catering to kids'. Supervision and training can be age-appropriate. Look at the war zones overseas, and tell me what age is too young to know what to do.

And I think the point about gunpowder residue on the blouse is well taken. I would hope, though, that anyone carrying in public would be firing in street clothes - only when the risk of holes and blood is greater than the risk of smudges.

Mr. Heyl seems to have completely overlooked the positive impact of armed women - the reduction of times that weapons must be discharged in defense of self and others.

I wonder - if Mr. Heyl were faced with a dangerous situation, would he care if the one offering assistance were uniformed or civilian, male or female?

Tam said...

"Look at the war zones overseas, and tell me what age is too young to know what to do."

"Yo, homie! Is that my lunchbox?" ;)

JR said...

I take solice in the fact that most truely conservative women I know do not need defending against mindless, leftist alpha-hotels such as my Heyl.

Southern Belle said...

Excellent article, AOM. Though I do have to say that I do take trips to the solon and Chanel No. 5 is my favorite fragrance, but I would never carry a gun in my purse, that's just not a very smart thing to do on several levels.
I have no doubt that I could conceal carry and still retain some sense of fashion, and the smell of gun powder, doesn't bother me one bit.
Taking my tongue out of my cheek now.
I think that I might go and join the NRA now.

KellyColor said...

Haha, I'm not an NRA member, but I do carry around an M4 I think that counts. I would like to say, I am kind of sad most of its accessories come in black. Fun read.

Southern Belle said...

But black goes with everything!

An Ordinary American said...

But doesn't black go with just about everything?

That was the fashion statement when I was growing up and not paying attention to fashion statements.

--AOA

John B said...

Barney Frank knows all about testosterone. He been on the receiving end long enough!

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