Kudos to Mike Ryan and Dog for reminding us that life need not be so complicated and that friendship and loyalty are two of the finest traits any human can possess.
Lot of lessons we can learn from our dogs.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The original motorcycle dog reminds us that life need not be so complicated.
Kudos to Mike Ryan and Dog for reminding us that life need not be so complicated and that friendship and loyalty are two of the finest traits any human can possess.
Lot of lessons we can learn from our dogs.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
What gun control will look like in 2013.
If we do not get the anti-Second Amendment people out of ALL facets of government, this will be how gun control works, beginning in 2013.
Given the resources of people like George Soros, the drug cartels and our own government, is there any doubt that this technology does not already exist?
If you are a gun owner but not a member of a pro-gun organization, you need to join one. Today.
Right now, roughly five percent of all gun owners are carrying the weight of the other ninety-five percent who are not members of anything. For those of you who aren't members, I'm glad you vote, I'm glad you call or e-mail your elected officials. Every gun-owner I've ever met claims to do this.
Fact is, there is strength in numbers and there are over seventy-million gun owners in America. If even a fourth of us were members of NRA or GOA or whatever, videos like this one would not exist.
But thanks to the majority of gun-owners apparently not giving a damn enough to join a pro-gun organization, not only do videos like this exist. . . they are indicative of what the future may very well hold for us.
Has this damned president not taught you anything? Has the ATF's "Fast and Furious" scams not taught you anything? Has all the talk about a UN treaty to abolish the Second Amendment not taught you anything? Do you still think because you don't own a "black gun" that the government will ignore you? Or because you only hunt with rifles, the government will leave you alone?
Get off your ass and join a pro-gun group. Today.
Given the resources of people like George Soros, the drug cartels and our own government, is there any doubt that this technology does not already exist?
If you are a gun owner but not a member of a pro-gun organization, you need to join one. Today.
Right now, roughly five percent of all gun owners are carrying the weight of the other ninety-five percent who are not members of anything. For those of you who aren't members, I'm glad you vote, I'm glad you call or e-mail your elected officials. Every gun-owner I've ever met claims to do this.
Fact is, there is strength in numbers and there are over seventy-million gun owners in America. If even a fourth of us were members of NRA or GOA or whatever, videos like this one would not exist.
But thanks to the majority of gun-owners apparently not giving a damn enough to join a pro-gun organization, not only do videos like this exist. . . they are indicative of what the future may very well hold for us.
Has this damned president not taught you anything? Has the ATF's "Fast and Furious" scams not taught you anything? Has all the talk about a UN treaty to abolish the Second Amendment not taught you anything? Do you still think because you don't own a "black gun" that the government will ignore you? Or because you only hunt with rifles, the government will leave you alone?
Get off your ass and join a pro-gun group. Today.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Which one is the blonde?
A little fun today before I head out to the shooting range.
Which one is the blonde?
Keep looking.
Keep looking, I know I did and I STILL didn't see it.
Keep looking.
Think you've got it?
Let's see. . .
No, you say? Ok, keep looking and see if you can spot her.
Remember--she's blonde.
OK, long enough. Scroll down a bit to see which one is the blonde.
She's the one with the wrong leg up.
Have a great day.
Which one is the blonde?
Keep looking.
Keep looking, I know I did and I STILL didn't see it.
Keep looking.
Think you've got it?
Let's see. . .
No, you say? Ok, keep looking and see if you can spot her.
Remember--she's blonde.
OK, long enough. Scroll down a bit to see which one is the blonde.
She's the one with the wrong leg up.
Have a great day.
Friday, September 23, 2011
What a room full of losers looks like.
Elizabeth Warren epitomizes everything in a liberal that I'd like to just haul back, cock my fist, and knock the ever loving crap out of.
She's also ugly as hell, to boot. But then again, she's a Masshole. What else would I expect from someone running on the liberal ticket from a liberal state to be anything less than uglier than an empty glass of buttermilk?
Her clip on "fair taxation" infuriates me.
But why shouldn't it? After all, she's just another useless attorney and Harvard law professor.
Translation? She hasn't accomplished jacksquat in the private sector. So what the hell gives her the right to lecture the rest of us on what we've built, accomplished or earned?
Not a damned thing.
Watch this clip of just over a minute. At the end, look around the room at the sorry lardass Massholes sitting around gleefully cheering her on.
If you ever wanted to know what a genuine loser looks like, you have a roomful of poster children.
Her clip on "fair taxation" infuriates me.
But why shouldn't it? After all, she's just another useless attorney and Harvard law professor.
Translation? She hasn't accomplished jacksquat in the private sector. So what the hell gives her the right to lecture the rest of us on what we've built, accomplished or earned?
Not a damned thing.
Watch this clip of just over a minute. At the end, look around the room at the sorry lardass Massholes sitting around gleefully cheering her on.
If you ever wanted to know what a genuine loser looks like, you have a roomful of poster children.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Alex Baldwin, his fans, a waste of chromosomes.
There has only been one time in my life where I thought Alex Baldwin served any useful purpose, and that was decades ago when he played a young Jack Ryan in Tom Clancy's "The Hunt For Red October" as it was made for the silver screen.  Now that a murderous piece of shit, Troy Davis, has been summarily executed and dumped in the human trash bin where he should have been over twenty years ago, Alex Baldwin is pissed. He is convinced Davis was innocent. Yes, in spite of over 34 eye witnesses and a jury makeup that was 7 to 5 black over white, our little pissant pecker-sucker Baldwin is going through tampons by the hour such is his fretting over Troy Davis assuming room temperature. He turns his tantrum towards Michelle Malkin after a while. Read the Tweets. They are a good example of why the liberals in this country are so destructive and why they need a good ass-kicking. |
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Retired Marine Wine Taster
At a wine merchant's warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A retired Marine A-4 pilot drunk and with a ragged dirty look came to apply for the position. The director wondered how to send him away. They gave him a glass to drink.
The old pilot tried it and said, "It's a Muscat three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acceptable."
"That's correct!!", said the boss. "Try another glass, please."
"It's a cabernet, eight years old, south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at eight degrees. Requires three more years for finest results."
"Absolutely correct! A third glass."
''It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive'' calmly said the drunk.
The director was astonished and winked at his secretary to suggest something. She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine.
The Marine alcoholic tried it. "It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get the job, I'll name the father."
The old pilot tried it and said, "It's a Muscat three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acceptable."
"That's correct!!", said the boss. "Try another glass, please."
"It's a cabernet, eight years old, south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at eight degrees. Requires three more years for finest results."
"Absolutely correct! A third glass."
''It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive'' calmly said the drunk.
The director was astonished and winked at his secretary to suggest something. She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine.
The Marine alcoholic tried it. "It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get the job, I'll name the father."
Monday, September 19, 2011
Kids who don't fry their brains playing video games.
I've long said that the only muscles too many of today's kids are developing are their thumb muscles--from texting and from playing video games.
That's why this video that appeared in my e-mail is so enjoyable.
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Michele Bachmann. Go away and take Sarah Palin with you.
The words I never thought would ever leave my mouth: "Michele, Sarah, Ann (Coulter)--shut the hell up and get the hell out of here."
I also see now why a woman has not been elected President, and given the way these three women acted and reacted after the Tampa debates, they may have very well done for a woman's chance at the Oval Office what Obama has done for ever having another black man in the Oval Office.
In short, all three acted exactly, to a T, in the same manner as the mainstream media that all three (profess to) despise so sorely.
In order:
There is so much misinformation going on about this Gardasil flap that it's unreal, and I find it highly ironic that the three females mentioned above failed to mention, even once, how the friggin permissive "anything goes" sexual attitudes force-fed into our public schools directly helped create a situation in which something like the Gardasil vaccination could even become a consideration.
Of course, Palin better not open her mouth about that. . .
Bachmann's stance on vaccinations alone now has me believing she is a total dumbass when it comes to the world outside her perfect view of herself and her politics. My suggestion to her would be for her to get her ass out of whitebread Minnesota and come down here to some of the border states where, thanks to the libs and RINOs, Third World diseases are once again becoming a problem.
Diseases that we MANDATE our school children be vaccinated against.
I think Newt nailed it when he pointed out that the media is trying to get the Republicans to not only draw blood on each other, but give the stinking Democrats some new ammunition to use in the 2012 race.
Dismissing Ron Paul, who remains convinced that 9/11 was all our fault, and that idiot from Utah who should be passing out towels in the restrooms of the debate hall rather than stealing oxygen from behind a podium, it seems that partisanship is alive and well in supposedly three of the Tea Party's more prominent members.
And from what it looked like to my wife, herself a former CBS infobabe, the female connection and solidarity seemed to trump all.
I guess Obama has his race card, and Bachmann/Palin/Coulter have their gender card.
As I've said for the past thirty years, politics--by their very nature--are designed to divide, not unite.
But one thing is for damned certain: Those three women lost this family's support and votes.
I also see now why a woman has not been elected President, and given the way these three women acted and reacted after the Tampa debates, they may have very well done for a woman's chance at the Oval Office what Obama has done for ever having another black man in the Oval Office.
In short, all three acted exactly, to a T, in the same manner as the mainstream media that all three (profess to) despise so sorely.
In order:
• Bachmann and her incessant shrill over Perry and the Gardisil vaccine. She should have shut up while she was ahead, but she didn't. In fact, she took her shrill to a post debate interview with Greta van Susteren and made an absolute ass out of herself.
And not just any ass, but a dumb ass with her dumb assed quoting of some lady she claimed came crying to her after the debate about the Gardasil vaccine making her daughter mentally retarded. Medical experts including the CDC squashed that one pretty quick and it made Bachmann look like an utter idiot.
Yet, she still clings to it even twenty-fours later and in spite of the scientific evidence blasted her way.
Isn't that a favorite ploy of the liberals? You know, how they do with gun control--tell a lie often enough, loud enough and to enough people until people begin to believe it's the truth.
Never forget: That's EXACTLY how we now have the term "assault weapon."
• Enter Sarah Palin, once a huge favorite of the wife and me. But as time moves on, we have more questions, in particular with her incessant teasing as to her intentions in the race.
But the huge problem I have is her accusation of Governor Perry engaging in "crony capitalism." Give me an effing break. $5,000 bucks? Are you kidding? This is TEXAS, ex-Governor Palin. We raise MILLIONS of dollars for the candidates we want to beat back the bozos in Washington. Five-thousand bucks won't even get you a season pass in the men's room of a suite at Jerry Jones' new altar unto himself that he calls a football stadium. Five thousand bucks isn't even a down payment on the Suburbans and one-ton dually pickups we drive.
It sure as hell won't buy you a damned thing in anyone's office in Austin except maybe an invitation to the inaugural BBQ, and unless ZZ Top or George Strait is playing, nobody would even pay that.
But more importantly, I seem to remember, Ms. Palin, you being pissed off beyond belief when after the 2008 election, you were accused of the same thing via your wardrobe purchased with GOP funds during your time on the campaign trail.
I also don't remember too many conservatives even blinking an eye over it because we knew better than to think you could be bought.
But the fact that you've stood shoulder to shoulder with Governor Perry in various Tea Party events and then jump at the national stage to take a cheap shot at him has me seriously doubting YOUR character and motives.
After all, turnabout is fair play and you know what they say about those who live in glass glaciers. . .
• An now, for Ann Coulter. . . You're starting to sound more and more like the RINO establishment every day, but then again, controversy sells books and that seems to be ALL you're really doing these days. Writing and selling books.
You're far too typical of virtually all (so-called) journalists--you've never accomplished a damn thing except to write about or criticize the accomplishments, good, bad or otherwise, of others who've actually dared to venture beyond the laptop and try working for a living.
Otherwise, if you start losing your hair, people might start mistaking you for Bill O'Reilly.
There is so much misinformation going on about this Gardasil flap that it's unreal, and I find it highly ironic that the three females mentioned above failed to mention, even once, how the friggin permissive "anything goes" sexual attitudes force-fed into our public schools directly helped create a situation in which something like the Gardasil vaccination could even become a consideration.
Of course, Palin better not open her mouth about that. . .
Bachmann's stance on vaccinations alone now has me believing she is a total dumbass when it comes to the world outside her perfect view of herself and her politics. My suggestion to her would be for her to get her ass out of whitebread Minnesota and come down here to some of the border states where, thanks to the libs and RINOs, Third World diseases are once again becoming a problem.
Diseases that we MANDATE our school children be vaccinated against.
I think Newt nailed it when he pointed out that the media is trying to get the Republicans to not only draw blood on each other, but give the stinking Democrats some new ammunition to use in the 2012 race.
Dismissing Ron Paul, who remains convinced that 9/11 was all our fault, and that idiot from Utah who should be passing out towels in the restrooms of the debate hall rather than stealing oxygen from behind a podium, it seems that partisanship is alive and well in supposedly three of the Tea Party's more prominent members.
And from what it looked like to my wife, herself a former CBS infobabe, the female connection and solidarity seemed to trump all.
I guess Obama has his race card, and Bachmann/Palin/Coulter have their gender card.
As I've said for the past thirty years, politics--by their very nature--are designed to divide, not unite.
But one thing is for damned certain: Those three women lost this family's support and votes.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Barack Bingo.
Like most of you, I used to find Barack Obama's speeches and press conferences absolutely unbearable.
But now, thanks to Barack Bullshit Bingo, they can actually be useful and entertaining.
Before each speech the Anointed One gives, print out the card below. Then listen for the key phrases printed on the card. When you get five in a row, jump up from the bar or the couch or wherever you are and shout, "BULLSHIT!"
It's that simple.
(Warning: There are often multiple winners who reach the Bullshit level at the same time. In such cases, just remember what the Anointed One told Joe the Plumber about "spreading the wealth around" being a good thing."
I suggest that all financial proceeds be donated to the Tea Party chapter of your choice.
But now, thanks to Barack Bullshit Bingo, they can actually be useful and entertaining.
Before each speech the Anointed One gives, print out the card below. Then listen for the key phrases printed on the card. When you get five in a row, jump up from the bar or the couch or wherever you are and shout, "BULLSHIT!"
It's that simple.
(Warning: There are often multiple winners who reach the Bullshit level at the same time. In such cases, just remember what the Anointed One told Joe the Plumber about "spreading the wealth around" being a good thing."
I suggest that all financial proceeds be donated to the Tea Party chapter of your choice.
Pregnant man suing White Castle Burgers.
No, it's not a typo.
Indicative of today's professional victim mentality, an obese slob of a man, using the term only in genetic correctness, is suing White Castle Burgers because he can't fit his fat ass and belly into one of their booths.
He's suing under the ADA claiming "it's just like being pregnant" trying to get into one of their booths.
You can check out the story here.
If you'll notice in the report, this fat slob has zero intention of giving up his junk food. Instead, the SOB wants to the world to change to HIS standards.
I've got some advice for this guy.
Lay off the junk food, exercise, lose some weight and quit being such a pussy.
Indicative of today's professional victim mentality, an obese slob of a man, using the term only in genetic correctness, is suing White Castle Burgers because he can't fit his fat ass and belly into one of their booths.
You can check out the story here.
If you'll notice in the report, this fat slob has zero intention of giving up his junk food. Instead, the SOB wants to the world to change to HIS standards.
I've got some advice for this guy.
Lay off the junk food, exercise, lose some weight and quit being such a pussy.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Wanna "get real" Soulja Boy? Bring it on.
Seems there's (yet another) shit stain waste of chromosomes who is in the "rap scene" and calls himself/itself "Soulja Boy."
Also seems the little prick wrote, wrapped or crapped or whatever it is these genetic malfuctions do that end up blaring through ghetto mobiles' zillion-dollar car stereos that disparaged U.S. Army troops and just about ALL veterans in general.
"Let's Be Real?"
Really, Soulja Boy.
Tell you what, asshole. You wanna play "let's be real" with your bullshit, bring it down to any Veterans of Foreign Wars or American Legion post.
We'll get real with your little punk ass.
And don't bother with all the crocodile tears of "apology" and removing your crap-rap from the internet.
Too late, asshole. You got caught, you got called on it, and now you're running away from your own words faster than a fifteen-year-old prom queen who forgot her tampons before the big dance.
What a pissant.
"Let's Be Real?"
Really, Soulja Boy.
Tell you what, asshole. You wanna play "let's be real" with your bullshit, bring it down to any Veterans of Foreign Wars or American Legion post.
We'll get real with your little punk ass.
And don't bother with all the crocodile tears of "apology" and removing your crap-rap from the internet.
Too late, asshole. You got caught, you got called on it, and now you're running away from your own words faster than a fifteen-year-old prom queen who forgot her tampons before the big dance.
What a pissant.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
The evil within.
Never forget that we learned all we need to know about the sham that is Islam on September 11, 2001.
And never forget the religion, race or national origin of those responsible.
These animals need to be eradicated from the face of the earth. Mecca and Medina need to be bombed into oblivion. The Enola Gay needs to come out of retirement. It unequivocally ended the last world war.
It could certainly end our present one.
And never forget the religion, race or national origin of those responsible.
These animals need to be eradicated from the face of the earth. Mecca and Medina need to be bombed into oblivion. The Enola Gay needs to come out of retirement. It unequivocally ended the last world war.
It could certainly end our present one.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The Dealer Showroom sucks. Gun owners, beware.
Other than rapists and child molesters, few things piss me off more than unscrupulous gun shops and gun dealers.
Stupidly, I tend to trust gun stores and gun dealers because I want to. I want to think that they are as dedicated to the Second Amendment, the Bill of Rights, the freedom and security of this nation as I am.
I want to think that a great many of them are also veterans and know the meaning of honor and integrity and that you do the right thing no matter what. You know, the Code that we lived by in the field, "You watch my back, I'll watch yours."
I want gun dealers and gun shops to be the good guys.
And then I wake up. . .
*Sigh*
A friend of mine who runs Lagniappe's Lair just got a minor hose job from just such an asswipe by the name of John Bush who runs some back-of-his-cyber-garage half-ass gun store operation called "The Dealer Showroom."
Problem is, it ain't a showroom, it's barely a website, and it's pretty damned sly about sneaking in additional shipping charges then sitting on your order for weeks on end while simultaneously ignoring e-mails and phone calls.
In fact, the guy running this farce of an operation doesn't even have voice mail or even one of those old-timey answering machines you can get for damned near free at any flea market or Salvation Army thrift store.
What the hell kind of half-assed operation is that? Well, read on about what my buddy went through for just two boxes of ammunition.
Long story short, he ordered two boxes of semi-rare ammo from the The Dealer Showroom in Klameth Falls, Oregon. He used his bank card to pay for it and included the stated $9 shipping.
Days turn into weeks and he begins trying to call TDR, but nobody answers the phone and there is no voice mail or even an answering machine.
He sends e-mails. Nothing. Nada. Zippo.
He tries to cancel the sale and do a chargeback with his bank, but guess what? They can't find the amount he paid to this clown. Why? Because TDR added another $4 in shipping without his consent or knowledge.
Add, subtract or just change the total of the sale and it makes a chargeback all but impossible.
The customer was finally able to contact Mr. Bush, expressed his displeasure and was completely blown off.
Game on.
Avoid this dump called "The Dealer Showroom" and let your fellow gun-owners, veterans and law enforcement friends and family know as well.
If you have a blog, give it a few lines and warn your loyal readers and then urge them to do the same.
The last thing we need is any more dishonest or less than reputable gun dealers competing with the ATF, after all.
Stupidly, I tend to trust gun stores and gun dealers because I want to. I want to think that they are as dedicated to the Second Amendment, the Bill of Rights, the freedom and security of this nation as I am.
I want to think that a great many of them are also veterans and know the meaning of honor and integrity and that you do the right thing no matter what. You know, the Code that we lived by in the field, "You watch my back, I'll watch yours."
I want gun dealers and gun shops to be the good guys.
And then I wake up. . .
A friend of mine who runs Lagniappe's Lair just got a minor hose job from just such an asswipe by the name of John Bush who runs some back-of-his-cyber-garage half-ass gun store operation called "The Dealer Showroom."
Problem is, it ain't a showroom, it's barely a website, and it's pretty damned sly about sneaking in additional shipping charges then sitting on your order for weeks on end while simultaneously ignoring e-mails and phone calls.
In fact, the guy running this farce of an operation doesn't even have voice mail or even one of those old-timey answering machines you can get for damned near free at any flea market or Salvation Army thrift store.
What the hell kind of half-assed operation is that? Well, read on about what my buddy went through for just two boxes of ammunition.
Long story short, he ordered two boxes of semi-rare ammo from the The Dealer Showroom in Klameth Falls, Oregon. He used his bank card to pay for it and included the stated $9 shipping.
Days turn into weeks and he begins trying to call TDR, but nobody answers the phone and there is no voice mail or even an answering machine.
He sends e-mails. Nothing. Nada. Zippo.
He tries to cancel the sale and do a chargeback with his bank, but guess what? They can't find the amount he paid to this clown. Why? Because TDR added another $4 in shipping without his consent or knowledge.
Add, subtract or just change the total of the sale and it makes a chargeback all but impossible.
The customer was finally able to contact Mr. Bush, expressed his displeasure and was completely blown off.
Game on.
Avoid this dump called "The Dealer Showroom" and let your fellow gun-owners, veterans and law enforcement friends and family know as well.
If you have a blog, give it a few lines and warn your loyal readers and then urge them to do the same.
The last thing we need is any more dishonest or less than reputable gun dealers competing with the ATF, after all.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Chinese sex and a bass boat in West Virginia
(Sometimes you just need a laugh, and I found these on the one and only internet forum I'm a member of, Cast Boolits. If you're a shooter, reloader or bullet caster, Cast Boolits is a nirvana. Enjoy.
--AOA)
Chinese Sex
While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here in the US , we know very little about it.
The man looks a little perplexed and says, Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.
The doctor answers, I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.
The man screams in horror, Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!
The doctor replies, Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only option.
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.
The guy says to the doctor, Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate!
Oh, thank God! the man exclaims.
Yes, says the Chinese doctor.Wait two week. Faw off by itself!
Bass Boat
A good 'ole West Virginia boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing. He
brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, "What you gonna do with
that. There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 50 miles of
here."
He says, "I won it and I'm a gonna keep it."
His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife and
asks where his brother is.
She says, "He's out there in his bass boat", pointing to the field behind
the house.
The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother sitting in a
bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand down in the middle of a big field.
He yells out to him, "What are you doing?"
His brother replies, "I'm fishin. What does it look like I'm a doing."
His brother yells, "It's people like you that give people from West Virginia
a bad name, makin everybody think we is stupid. If I could swim, I'd come
out there and whip your ass!"
--AOA)
Chinese Sex
While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here in the US , we know very little about it.
The man looks a little perplexed and says, Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.
The doctor answers, I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.
The man screams in horror, Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!
The doctor replies, Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only option.
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.
The guy says to the doctor, Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate!
Oh, thank God! the man exclaims.
Yes, says the Chinese doctor.Wait two week. Faw off by itself!
Bass Boat
brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, "What you gonna do with
that. There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 50 miles of
here."
He says, "I won it and I'm a gonna keep it."
His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife and
asks where his brother is.
She says, "He's out there in his bass boat", pointing to the field behind
the house.
The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother sitting in a
bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand down in the middle of a big field.
He yells out to him, "What are you doing?"
His brother replies, "I'm fishin. What does it look like I'm a doing."
His brother yells, "It's people like you that give people from West Virginia
a bad name, makin everybody think we is stupid. If I could swim, I'd come
out there and whip your ass!"
Friday, September 2, 2011
A Congress of baboons. That explains everything.
(From the e-mail stack.)
The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.
We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.
However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.
Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?
Believe it or not ....... a Congress.
I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington.
The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.
We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.
Believe it or not ....... a Congress.
I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
This woman needs to be our next Attorney General
Towards the end of June, I wrote a post titled "When women have more balls than men." In it, I heaped great praise upon Ms. Monique Lawless.
Today, I heard back from Ms. Lawless as she commented on the post I published about her. In her own words:
Damn straight, Ms. Lawless. We have 545 losers inside the Beltway that could learn a LOT from you.
To briefly reacquaint you with Ms. Lawless. . . She's in this Houston-area Walmart where three thugs are stealing beer and running for the door, Ms. Lawless takes off after them and jumps on their car. She gets thrown off, but the three brothers (literally and figuratively) end up arrested.
Interesting that Ms. Lawless, who wears a bra, did this when the so-called men around her in the store, who probably use tampons to control their irritable bowel syndrome, did nothing.
Overwhelmingly, the comments in the papers and television news stories were highly favorable, but of course, some of those tampon-wearing men said they would never have done such a thing. Stinking transplants. Go back to Sissy Falls, Connecticut or Cat Genital City, Oregon.
I think Rick Perry ought to take Ms. Lawless out on the campaign trail with him as an example of "real America" and what we used to be.
I also think that whoever is next President should appoint Ms. Lawless as Attorney General. She obviously doesn't cater to criminals and she obviously has no fear of going after them.
Who was the last Attorney General that also had a set of balls?
Please don't say it was Janet Reno. . .
Today, I heard back from Ms. Lawless as she commented on the post I published about her. In her own words:
Thank you so much "An Ordinary American" for understanding why I did what I did. It is way past time for all of to stand up against those who think that they can just break the law & the rest of us are going to look the other way. These were young boys with 8 felonies prior to this event. I wish I could hug every person who I have read about that has stood up to someone doing something wrong! It might not be your business or your property or your family today, but one day it will be and wouldn't you like to know that the person standing next to you is willing to do something to help? I am not a hero, just doing what I was raised to do and that is to do the right thing.
Damn straight, Ms. Lawless. We have 545 losers inside the Beltway that could learn a LOT from you.
To briefly reacquaint you with Ms. Lawless. . . She's in this Houston-area Walmart where three thugs are stealing beer and running for the door, Ms. Lawless takes off after them and jumps on their car. She gets thrown off, but the three brothers (literally and figuratively) end up arrested.
Interesting that Ms. Lawless, who wears a bra, did this when the so-called men around her in the store, who probably use tampons to control their irritable bowel syndrome, did nothing.
Overwhelmingly, the comments in the papers and television news stories were highly favorable, but of course, some of those tampon-wearing men said they would never have done such a thing. Stinking transplants. Go back to Sissy Falls, Connecticut or Cat Genital City, Oregon.
I think Rick Perry ought to take Ms. Lawless out on the campaign trail with him as an example of "real America" and what we used to be.
I also think that whoever is next President should appoint Ms. Lawless as Attorney General. She obviously doesn't cater to criminals and she obviously has no fear of going after them.
Who was the last Attorney General that also had a set of balls?
Please don't say it was Janet Reno. . .